ASYLUM (2008)

Title: Asylum
Year: 2008
Director: David R. Ellis
Writer: Ethan Lawrence
Cast: Sarah Roemer, Jake Muxworthy, Mark Rolston, Travis Van Winkle, Ellen Hollman

One night, Madison and her brother witness their wacky dad blow his brains out. Cut to the present, where Madison (the beautiful Sarah Roemer) is now all grown up. Her bro has also killed himself, but she starting college. She meets a group of kids which she befriends. But, you see the new dorm where they are staying at was once an asylum! And, it's haunted by the evil Dr. Burke (Mark Rolston), who used questionable methods to "help" the teens in the asylum. Soon, the kids start to get offed one by one, and he uses each of their psychological weaknesses and scars to get to them.

Man, this movie is as generic as they come. It rips off of the Nightmare on Elm Street franchise and offers nothing new to the genre. The doc even makes lame jokes as he kills. The acting ranges from OK to good, but the characters are pretty standard and generic. The girls are really pretty, though. In particular lead Sarah Roemer, whom horror fans might remember from the enjoyable Disturbia, is quite the babe. I have quite an affinity for Ms. Reomer and would love to see her do even more genre projects. I also liked the lovely Ellen Holloman, who had a sexy role in it, as the token sexpot. Carolina Gracia adds some Latina spice to proceedings. There is some slight nudity from Sarah's character, but it is hard to see it if it is really her or a body double.

The gore is alright, with an impressive head bisection that really rocks hard. The movie could certainly have been worse (Dr. Giggles anyone?), but there is really nothing here, beyond what little good things I just said to recommend this. The ending is terribly abrupt and if you've seen stuff like Dream Warriors or Bad Dreams, then you've seen this movie. Ultimately, this an asylum no one needs to visit, unless you are a Sarah Roemer completetionist.

* 1/2 out of ****

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EASY A

Title: Easy A
Director: Will Gluck
Writer: Bert V. Royal
Cast: Emma Stone, Amanda Bynes, Penn Badgley, Dan Byrd, Thomas Jayden Church

I recently watched Easy A on cable. Now, I should start by saying, I usually hate comedies, and I rarely watch them. I’m really picky when it comes to which ones, I actually like. But, a friend recommended it to me, and usually we have the same tastes. When, a girl I know on Twitter reaffirmed the recommendation, I figured why not. What the fuck do I have to lose? Moreso, cause it’s on Starz, now so it ain’t gonna cost me shit, if it sucks.

Easy A tells the story of Olive (the beautiful Emma Stone), a girl who is not popular. One day to get out of hanging out with her friend Rhiannon (Aly Michalka, who while not being my type does have nice cleavage) and her family (who are weird hippies), she tells the lie that she is gonna go out with some made up college guy. When in reality she is staying home. When, she tells her friend the following Monday that she fucked him and lost her virginity, the local Jesus freak (the cute Amanda Bynes hears it in the bathroom and soon the rumor spreads. She is soon thought to be a slut. Eventually, she decides to help a gay student look straight by pretending she has sex with. Other boys pay her money to able to spread the rumor that they, too, had sex with her. She also decides to wear on an A on her clothing, like the book she just read for class, The Scarlet Letter. She becomes the talk of the school.

Easy A surprised me as far as entertaining it was. I wasn’t really expecting this to be my cup of beer, but I have it a shot, anyway. It is funny and has a lot of heart and sweetness to it, but never so much so that it is vomiting inducing. The cast is good, but really this is Stone’s movie. She has never looked more beautiful, and I ended up falling totally in love with her after watching this film. Sure, there are other girls in the movie, but they just don’t compare.

Actually, this is also a problem with the movie, as it is hard to believe that anyone as hot as her would be an outcast in high school. But, that’s Hollywood for ya. My only other problem is that the tact on romantic crap. Seriously, why did this movie need it? Oh, that’s right cause they want girls to like and watch the movie. That and the lead is a female. I kind of wanna buy this one on blu-ray someday, but that shit really annoyed me.

Still, Easy A is fun and easy to enjoy movie. Guys, and obviously girls, I think will find enough things to appreciate, hence my recommendation to watch it. And, if you’re a fan of Ms. Stone, then you totally owe to yourself to see this one. And, what’s best is that this one that you can share with that girl in your life.
*** out of ****

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