You May Not Want to be Part of "The Client List

 

 Oh Lifetime, how I loathe thee. The first time that I even heard about this godforsaken network, cause my mom used to watch it. A lot. Still, I know it's not for guys, so it is what it is. Hey, we have lots of stuff aimed at us, the ladies deserve their stuff to. The true issue arose when they decided to cast one of my favorite babes Jennifer Love Hewitt in their new show. And, I watched it. And, well now I'm here to answer the question of should I, meaning you guys who usually read my blog, be watching it? 

The Client List was first a TV movie inspired by true events. I now remember the poster ads for it. Admit ably, they caught my eye, after all, I've liked Ms. Hewitt since she was in I Know What You Did Last Summer. She's always been gorgeous and has only gotten more so with the passing of time. In it she plays the mom of two kids who takes up escorting to care for her two kids. Anyway, I guess it was a hit, cause it inspired this new show of the same name! 

Anyway, when the time came to advertise the series, they had poster up on NYC (the one that's at the top of this blog), featuring Hewitt's amazing cleavage on full display. I had to stop and look at it. Wow!! Thank you God for giving her such a killer rack! Next thing you know, she's also on the cover of Maxim. The shoot inside is pretty fucking hot. She talks to the popular men's mag about the new series. Soon, I'm thinking, "Hey are they trying to advertise this series to us guys?" It sure seemed that way.

Well, I wasn't about to watch the series premiere on Sunday night three weeks ago. I mean to choose this over The Borgias?! I think not. But, they reaired (still do) at 11PM on Tues. And, I gave it a look. She's still a mom with two kids that has Sybil Shepard as a mom. But, this time her hubby leaves her. When she sees her hottie friend make money at a massage parlor, she wants in. She soon sees she needs to give happy endings. And, so the Hewitt cleavage and handie-job hour commences!!

Actually the first episode was not that bad. I was admit ably entertained. I mean it mostly had to do with looking at her rack but hey that works for me. The fact that she gave advice to clients was a stupid bit of storyline that says hey, this girl gives you a happy-ending and love advice does your massage chick do that?! I think not. Still, I found it hard to believe most of her clients are hunky guys. Why the fuck would they need to pay a chick to pull it for them?! Clearly this is more of Lifetime's shit. But, I was willing to overlook that, cause I would just look at her tits.The acting ranges from fair to whatever, but it's not like was looking for Oscar (Emmy?) Award winning performances here.

But, by the second episode a bunch of shitty melodrama was added all of which annoyed the fuck out of me. And, I found it hard watch. Worse even, it had less Hewitt cleavage. In fact, the best scene was towards the end, when it finally got interesting. And, bam! It's a fucking dream!! Epic fail. I gave it one more chance, last night. I admit it was better. By better I mean I didn't want to kill myself. That and her friend turned rival is a hottie Selena, played by Italian/ British babe Alicia Lagano, looked very delicious. And, was a total bitch. Which only makes her hotter. Not hotter than Hewitt but not many are.

I guess I'll watch next week. But, I think it safe to say that most of you guys need not ever watch this. But, I won't hold it against you. I mean I'm still watching. But, with Hewitt's beautiful face, hot God-given cleavage, killer legs, and nice ass, I'm finding it hard to say no. *sigh*

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The 10 Best Movies of 2011

I realize that I am bit late with this list, but the truth is I have been extremely busy with my writing, so I wish to excuse myself to my fellow and loyal readers. Regardless, with the Oscars on tonight, I felt this was the moment for me to show my picks. As always, mine go against what a mainstream critic would ever pick, but that's cause I ain't one. I would like to think that is part of the reason you guys enjoy reading my words.

As a whole, I found that last year had some good stuff, but I avoided, or at least tried to avoid the truly horrid shit. Anway, enjoy my list and go see all of them. And, if you already have revisit them!

10. Dead Hooker in a Trunk- Fun, energetic, wild, over-the-top, insane, bloody, these are just some of the words I can use to describe the Soska twins' debut movie. The fact that the lovely sisters directed, wrote, produced, and acted in it makes that much more impressive. In all, this one of the best indie/ underground horror releases in a long time. And, I think they will only get better as American Mary is one of my most hotly anticipated movies of next year.



9. Bereavement- Stevan Mena's own superior prequel to Malevolence is a nasty, dark, brutal, and mean-spirited romp that pushes buttons that not many movies have the balls to do so. It also happens to feature some solid acting from a good cast. Easily ranks as one of the best, if not the best, prequel in the horror genre.




8. Scream 4- I seriously had my doubts about this one. It had a lot going against including cast changes, the fact that Craven's recent out-put had been shit, including the preceding installment of this franchise which was utter filth, that self-reflective slasher films had run their course ages ago, and this was many years to late. But, this movie rose above that becoming the best in said series since the original. It's well acted, smart, well written, violent, funny, fun, and has a delicious female cast. One of the most pleasant surprise of last year.


7. Captain America- I had my doubts about this one, despite being a fan of Captain America since childhood. I mean all other attempts were shit! But, long and behold, this was an exciting, fun movie. The acting and action scenes are solid and well done, and the character is done with respect, never coming off as corny, which it completely could have. Also, Hugo Weaving is an awesome Red Skull!




6. The Mechanic- This bloody good remake of the Bronson movie of the same name is a rocking good time. Statham is just badass in the lead role and the flick moves a quick and exciting pace. The ultra-violent set pieces give the movie that extra kick in the ass that just puts it over the top. Maybe the best remake in the action movie genre, ever.


5. Yakuza Weapon- This might be the wildest and bloodiest movie of the year! An incredibly fun movie that stands as the best of the over-the-top splatter-style films to from Japan since The Machine Girl. While, that remains my favorite of them, this one comes close to topping it. Our hero is a fucking badass all the way, and his love interest in the movie is a goddess. It hits DVD and blu-ray this year, so get out there and buy it. Yes, I said buy it. Don't just fucking rent it!!



4. Drive- Some movies get a lot of hype but don't deserve it. This one does. Stylish, ultra-violent, exciting, with excellent directing, acting, and editing, this one of those times me and the critics agree. It's destined to become a modern classic. A great indie action film that I simply adored practically every frame of. And, I have to admit, of all the heroes I seen in movies this year, this is the one I wanted to be the most like. Well other than the fact that I really wish I was the hero in Yakuza Weapon cause he had the hottest love interest of the year. But, yeah other than that, I want to be the Driver! And, I want his jacket, too!!!


3. The Woman- Holy shit is this movie amazing or what?! Brutal, shocking, nasty, and very powerful, this might be Lucky (May) McKee's best work yet. It's very unflinching, but it also stands as great feminist horror. Some of the year's best and most shocking moments from the genre are featured here. This movie seriously needs to be seen by each and everyone of you. Provided you can take it, you will see an excellent film.


2. Warrior- Hey, another one the critics and I agree on! Shocking! But, come on this is just a great film. The best of it's kind since The Wrestler. But, this is not just a great MMA movie (and I can say this because I am a HUGE MMA fan) but a great film period!!!





1. Hobo with a Shotgun- To me this is THE best film of the year. Ultra-gory, funny, unpc, wild, over-the-top, nasty, crazy, stylish, but yet with a lot of heart. This movie loves the films that inspired it, and it shows. The cast is just great. Haur is clearly the man. I loved everything about this movie. This is one of the only top 10 lists, that compensate all genres, that probably has this as it's #1 pick. But, who cares? This movie fucking rules and that's the bottom line casue the Master said so!!!

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Damage

Title: Damage
Director: Jeff King
Writer: Frank Hannah
Cast: Steve Austin, Walton Goggins, Laura Vandervoort, Donnelly Rhodes, Lynda Boyd
Year: 2009
Min: 102

After serving four out of the seven years that John Brickner (Steve Austin) received for second-degree manslaughter, he ends up working as a construction worker, at day and bar bouncer at night. One day after work he meets up with Veronica Reynolds (Lynda Boyd), the widow of the man he killed. It turns out she petitioned for his releases after all the letters he wrote to her asking for her forgiveness. She tells him that her daughter Sarah, of eight years of age, needs a $250,000 heart transplant. He at first rejects the offer to do underground fighting for fight promoter Reno Paulsaint (Walton Goggins), but then he loses his job (but not before saving a man). He decides to do it, after getting help for finding him via his beautiful assistant and companion Frankie (V's Laura Vandervoort, here a brunette). Brickner begins to whoop some major ass, but Reno has some debts of his own.

I have to say that I was very surprised with how good this movie is. Usually movies starring pro-wrestlers are awful, even worse if they are direct-to-video, like this was. But, despite not being very original, it's a very entertaining and engaging film.

A big part of the appeal comes from the cast, which is quite good. I am a long time of Austin, as he was one of my favorites in the WWF/E. But, I was expecting him to be that good in this film. But, he really is. He comes off as a believable working class hero. He manages to kick some serious ass, but also manages to add some heart to his portrayal of his character. The rest of the cast is good, too. Vandervoort looks even more beautiful as a brunette and really gets to show off her acting chops. The characters are likable, with Reno having a good character arc.

Director King manages to keep the pace moving nicely. The fight scenes are bloody and brutal, and are well off-set by some actually heartfelt moments. I do think the ending wraps up everything to nicely and perfectly, though.

In all, this is a good surprise. If you are a fan of action films or even a good drama, you will definitely enjoy this one. If you are a fellow Austin fan it's a must see.

*** out of ****

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Warrior

Title: Warrior
Director: Gavin O'Connor
Writers: Gavin O'Connor, Anthony Tambakis, and Cliff Dorfman
Cast: Tom Hardy, Nick Nolte, Joel Edgerton, Jennifer Morrison, Frank Grillo, Kevin Dunn

Tommy (Tom Hardy), the youngest of two sons, enlists his former alcoholic father (Nick Nolte) to train him for an MMA tournament. Meanwhile, his older brother Brendan (Joel Edgerton), a former UFC fighter turned high school teacher, is facing eviction along with his pretty wife (the leggy Jennifer Mossison) and their two kids. He decides to return to the world of MMA (mix martial arts) to get the cash he and his family desperately need. But, this estranged family are on the path on confrontation.

This is an excellent and amazing film. One does not need to be a fan of MMA to enjoy it, since there is a lot of great aspects of it that will appeal to all fans of quality cinema. Of course, if you are a fellow fan of this great sport (I, myself, simply love MMA), then you most definitely need to see it.

The acting is perfect from the whole cast. Hardy gives my favorite acting of the year, so far. He plays a character that is tough and yet totally admirable. Edgerton is also great, as is Nolte (who I have always been a big fan of), both of whom add great sympathy to their respective roles.

The story is involving, though I wish the trailer didn't give away so damn much. Regardless, I felt myself get caught up in the story. I felt pumped up, and also moved. There are some touching and heartfelt moments (involving such themes as heroism and family), but also some genuinely kick ass parts of the movie that had me wanting to go whoop some ass myself. I found myself cheering during the duration of the film for both our heroes, throughout various parts of the it.

I also felt inspired by the movie. Here are two brothers who struggle to get where they are at. You want them succeed and feel for them, and even feel that you can do it, too (not fight in MMA, necessarily, but just succeed in general).

I love the way the fight scenes were shot and edited. There are some cool POV shots, where you feel you are getting pummeled. Hardy is a fucking animal in the octagon and made my blood pump as I felt ready to take on the world, myself. Fight fans should also pay attention, to the cameos by one of my fav UFC guys Rashad Evans and WWE/ TNA legend Kurt Angle. Angle's role is fucking cool, and if you are a fellow wrestling you will find the irony in it so awesome!

In all, Warrior is my favorite movie that I have seen so far, this year. It left me feeling great, as if I could take on the world itself, yet it was able to touch my heart as well. I give this movie my highest possible recommendation.

**** out of ****

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Cinema ABCs

A couple of other blogs have been doing this, so, here is mine contribution.

A is for Aliens

B is Battle Royale
C is for The Curse of the Werewolf
D is for Death Wish
E is for The Evil Dead
F is Fudoh: The New Generation
G is for The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

H is for Hard Boiled
I is for Iron Man
J is for Jaws
K is for King Kong
L is for Land of the Dead
M is for Mulholland Dr.
N is for A Nightmare on Elm Street
O is for The Others
P is for Phenomena
Q is for The Quiet
R is for Re-Animator
S is for Scarface
T is for Taxi Driver
U is for Under Siege
V is for Vampyres
W is for The Warriors
X is for X2: X-Men United
Y is for You Only Live Twice
Z is for Zero Woman: Red Handcuffs

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Now playing: The Pretty Reckless - You
via FoxyTunes

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