Reviews of DARK TOUCH and THE NEST

Today I have two reviews up on best-horror-movies.com. First off, there is the latest on from In My Skin's writer/ director Marina de Van, as well as the recently released on blu-ray from Scream Factory killer roach flick, The Nest. 

You can read the Dark Touch review here: http://www.best-horror-movies.com/review?name=dark-touch-2013-review
And, The Nest here: http://www.best-horror-movies.com/review?name=the-nest-1988-review

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WASTELAND (Blu-Ray)

Title: Wasteland
Directed and written by: Graham Travis
Cast: Lily Labeau, Manuel Ferrara, Lily Carter, Carlo Carrera, Xander Corvus, Sparky Sin Clair, Proxy Paige, Liza Del Sierra, Tiffany Doll, Eric John, Sarah Shevon, Brian Street Team, Ramon Nomar, Mick Blue, Toni Ribas, David Perry
Studio: Elegant Angel 
Min: 117

All movie stills courtesy of Elegant Angel's Blog.

Lily Carter plays a girl who goes to visit her friend (Lily Labeau) in San Diego after not seeing her for five years. She is only going to stay there for the night and leave the next morning. Labeau takes Carter through her sexually adventurous life. As the story progresses, we learn more about both characters, and their friendship and lives are challenged. Loss, pain, sexual exploration, love, and true friendship all become major parts of this wild and emotionally charged night. 

In reviewing this movie, I wanted to look at it, for what it really is. A real movie that just happens to have hardcore sex in it. And, it's the best porno I have ever seen to succeed at this. In fact, it's unfair to just call it smut, as it would greatly undervalue it.

First off, much praise most go to both of it's beautiful stars. Lily Carter gives a tour-de-force performance. Those who falsely believe that a porn star cannot act should shut their fucking mouths and watch her. She gives such a moving and heartfelt performance, that during one particular bit of dialogue, I was actually moved to tears. She also happens to be absolutely stunning. Her beautiful greenish, blue eyes show levels of emotion that many mainstream actresses couldn't do on their best fucking day. Meanwhile, Labeau, who is also breathtaking (gotta love that sexy bush of hers!), gives us a great and powerful performance of a very complex character. Her character seems to be cold and shallow, at first, but as the movie progresses we see that there is so much more to her. This movie lives by these two beauties since, it's really a two character study, and with lesser girls it would've fallen apart.

Travis (Portrait of a Call Girl) directs the movie with style and class. It features beautiful cinematography, some great angles, and use of lighting and shadow. It also features masterful editing and a great soundtrack that adds so much to the proceedings. His script actually delves into life, death, growing up, changing, and most significantly friendship and love (as in actual love not "friend" love).

But, this film is an adult movie, and it greatly succeeds here, too. Aside from being very moving and sad, it is also very erotically charged. There are a total of eight scenes. If you watch the movie, the scenes are edited (but still very hardcore), to help the pace of the movie and move the story along. You can see the full scenes, on the second disc. But, even in this manner they are hot as fuck.

From the first one were Labeau sucks off a dude in the bathroom to the blistering four guys and both Lilys at the film's climax, this one packs some of the best fucking you'll see in a feature. And, while there is a nice amount of guy-girl action, there is a heavy emphasis on sapphic love, which shall always remain a preference of mine. There are two extremely, I mean extremely, hot scenes between both Lilys. These are passionate and feel real, which is THE way to do girl-girl action. It adds to the story (yes, a porn where sex adds to the actual plot, imagine that?), and makes their relationship all the more complex and emotional. Another smoldering lesbian scene occurs between Carter and the voluptuous Liza Del Seirra. The heat building up to the scene and actually lesbo fucking will have you reaching for your Kleenex. There is another hot lesbian scene with Sparky Sin Clair and Proxy Paige and two other tattooed porn hotties. But, this scene is pretty much cut out from the feature save for some nice girl-girl kissing. Go to disc two for that one!

Which brings us to that second disc. There you will find not only the extended sex scenes, but also two bonus scenes, from past Elegant Angel releases, one featuring Lily Carter and Lizz Tayler, the other one with Andy San Dimas and Lily Labeau. Both are lesbian, both are HOT!! Also included are podcast interviews with the stars and director, both worth listening too. Finally, you will also find the film's trailer and teaser.

The blu-ray looks fucking AMAZING, with natural skin tones and a great showcase of detail. Colors are vibrant and blacks are rich and thick.

In all, this is one of the best, if not the best, adult film, I've ever seen. It stands well able to compete and top most indie movies like (plot wise, I mean) this out there. It's a movie that will make your eyes tear up, as well, as your dick tear up. That's no mean feat there. And, while it will not appeal to those who dislike story or romance in their porn, it will definitely appeal to those who want more out of there erotic film viewing. A masterpiece.

**** out of ****

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The 1st Annual Master Gio Awards

Oh 2012, you had some truly great moments, including some amazing music, movies, geek stuff, and babes. Then, again, there was also some awful fucking shit. I've recently been playing with the idea of doing a bunch of awards (not including best babe, movie, and album, since I cover those in my top of the year lists, anyway) to celebrate the best and worst. I also figured I could have some fun doing just that, and hopefully, you also have fun reading my picks. Enjoy and let me know your thoughts, so let us begin with the shitty stuff, so as to save the best, for last:

The Bad Shit of 2012:

Worst Movie of the Year (That I Saw)- V/H/S/- Let's begin by saying that this is the worst film, by default, as I try my hardest to avoid bad movies, but of all the shit I saw this year, this one was the crappiest one. That said, I can assure there are worst movies out. Thank God, I didn't see those. Anyways, after much thought this award goes to V/H/S/. This one had a good first story as a babe is revealed to be a demon, a crappy second tale of a couple terrorized by a stranger, a godawful, piece of shit tale of digitized killer (that is one of the worst things I have ever seen and would easily win this award on it's own), a good tale involving Skype, a good story about a haunted house (but it's basically another Paranormal Activity), and a shit eating wrap-around story. Plus, it got a ton of hype due to the talent behind it. That actually pissed me off, even more as it is worth none of that hype.

Most Overrated Film of the Year- Dark Knight Rises- Man, I can hear the complaints, right now. But, sorry this film is a load of overrating of a mostly mediocre film. As some of you may recall I originally gave this film a 3 out of 4 star rating. Despite the fact, that if you read the review I had very little nice to say about it. And, guess what? Since, then I hate this one even more! In fact, I feel I overrated it with that rating. While, I still don't think it's a bad movie, per say, it's one of those movies, that the more I think about it, the more I dislike it. I mean, since that review, I think of more shit that pissed me off, not the least of which is the ridiculous scenes involving all the Gotham cops being sent to the sewer (why in fuck's name would anyone do that?!) and the one where they run to battle the baddies head on. What the fuck is this the Revolutionary War?! Fail that shit!!!

Worst Hero in a Movie- Batman in Dark Knight Rises- Bitching and whining will only earn you this not very cherished award. Seriously, Batman was a fucking emo pussy. So much so that I wish Alfred would have bitch-slapped his pathetic ass. Bats needs to grow some balls back!! 







Horror Trend that Needs to Die- Zombies- Ya know I would never have thought of writing those words even up to an year ago. In fact, I would wanna say found footage shit, but nope, it's zombies. When The History Channel has zombie docus and there is a movie advertised as the Twilight, with comedy(!), of zombie movies (the upcoming Warm Bodies), its time to shoot the trend in the fucking head!! Yes, I realize there are still good zombie movies being made and The Walking Dead  rules, but you get my fuckin drift.

The Why the Fuck Is this not on Blu-Ray Award- (Tie) [Rec]3: Genesis and The Loved Ones- I love my blu-ray player, and while I still buy DVDs (mostly when I have no choice in the matter), I prefer blu-ray, of course. Well, I don't get why any new release would only be on DVD. I know some hated [Rec]3, but I thought it was fun. But, hey even if it sucked it still should have been on blu-ray. And, don't get me started on the amazing The Loved Ones, which gets very little extras on the DVD, which had gotten shelved some three years. Fuck Paramount!




The Channel Epic Fail Award- G4- You long time readers should may know my love for Attack of the Show. Well, it finally closed shop thanks to G4 who got rid of that (and X-Play) in preference of their new upcoming GQ inspired programming. Say what?! Uh, the appeal of these shows (and G4 in general) is that they are aimed for the niche audience that is no actual channel devoted to. And, how many men do you know whot read GQ these days? Shit, I ain't read an issue since like 2005, and that was only cause Jessica Alba was on the cover. Sure, AOTS wasn't as great as it used to be, but still it was entertaining. Remember kids, this means no more Candace Bailey and Kristen Holt (I could give a rat's ass about Sara Underwood). Fuck you, Comcast (the parent company of G4, in case you don't know)!!!

The Kick Ass Stuff of 2012

The Hottest Ass- Jada Stevens- I've recently been ranting about it, but it's hard not to, her butt is truly an amazing gift from the heavens above. It's big and perfect, and best of all, since she's in porn, so she shares it with us and gets anal love. Truly, can we ask for anything more? I think not!

Best Boobs (clothed)- Katie Featherston- It's a shame she keeps them covered because, good God they are amazing!! Even if you hate the Paranormal Activity flicks you gotta love her cleavage. If I was a demonic ghost I would haunt and want to possess them too! Though, admit ably, I wouldn't go snapping people's necks with her hands, I would probably make her look at her boobies in the mirror and, well you can figure out the rest...





Best Boobs (unclothed)- London Keyes- I love natural, big boobs. I LOVE Asian girls. Combine them both and well you know I may have to ask that girl to marry me! London continues to star in stroke worthy smut and gives us ample chances to drool all over her boobies.




Porn Trend of the Year- Girl/ Girl Movies- While, I'm done with some of the parodies (there are still some worth seeing and that catch my interest, but some of those movies, make me wonder who the hell needed porno version that?!), the trend of more and more girl/ girl stuff is an AWESOME one. The fact that many seem to be made by companies that dedicate themselves to only releasing lesbian flicks is fucking great! Aside, from the great Girlfriends Films, there are other studios like Club 59 and Sweetheart Video. Many of these are subsidiaries of bigger studios like Elegant Angel and Mile High Distribution, respectively. I've long been a fan of all girl movies and scenes, so to me this one of the greatest things. And, the casts for many of these movies are nothing short of AMAZING!!!

Breakthrough Performance in a Horror Film- Gretchen Lodge- While, the movie, itself, is a good, albeit very flawed film, Lodge gives a performance of a lifetime in Edwardo (Blair Witch Project) Sanchez' Lovely Molly. She comes off as sympathetic, sexy, and scary. I was blown away by her performance. I see great things in store for her!

 
Best Image Change in a Movie- AnnaLynne McCord in Excision- Before seeing this movie, I never thought much of Ms. McCord. Too prissy to ever interest me, she made such a HUGE and drastic change for one of the very best movies of the year in Excision. In it she plays a weird and disturbed teenager who wants to go into medical school, but fantasizes about surgeries and necrophilia and is into blood play. She gives such a shattering performance that is miles away from her Beverly Hills 90210 role, that you have to stand up and notice. In fact, I fell in love with her solely from this.
Runner-Up- Yvonne Strahovski in "Dexter"- She used to inspire the same feelings in me that McCord did. But, she plays a serial killer and boom, I'm in love! In all seriousness, though, seeing both these ladies going against type is awesome accomplishment. Kudos, ladies!

Best Nude Scene in a Movie- Dear God No! Madeline Brumby's Striptease- There some good nudes in this insane and awesome movie, but Madeline Brumby's striptease is my favorite. It's a memorable scene that had me drooling, happily!




Best Gore, Overall, in a Movie- Dear God No!- While, there were lots of good gore moments in lots of movies, the kick ass Dear God No! had the best amount and the most over-the-top, including a dude getting choked with his own guts!! You just can't fuckin beat that!!



Hottest Female Cast in a Non-Porno Flick- Man with the Iron Fist- This fun and bloody tribute to old-school kung-fu movies had a drool worthy cast that included Lucy Liu, Jamie Chung, and a ton of other Asian beauties. Basically, it's what heaven would look like to me. Sadly, though, they never got nude...

Blu-Ray Release of the Year- Jaws- One of the greatest movies ever made Steven Speilberg's Jaws made an amazing debut on blu-ray looking and sounding KILLER and having ass -kicking extra features, the best of which is the amazing docu "The Shark Is Still Working". Props to Universal for giving this horror classic a definitive release!!




 

TV Show of the Year- Dexter- This was a hard one to pick. As there were amazing seasons this year, including Game of Thrones, Grimm, and The Walking Dead (both of those continue this year, of course). But in the end, I have to give it to this jaw-dropping and captivating season of Dexter. The season finale alone warrants it consideration. Throw-in the plot twists and revelations and this one just totally held my interest. The only fail came from the AWFUL storyline of Debra being in love with her adopted brother, Dexter. That's gross and stupid, but the rest of the season? PERFECT!!!! 


Superhero team of the Year- The Thunderbolts (Thunderbolts #1)- Lead by General Thunderbolt Ross (AKA the Red Hulk and guy who hates the Hulk), and comprised of Marvel's heroes that kill, the Punisher, Venom (by way of Flash Thompson), Elektra, and Deadpool, this is the single most badass team in superhero history.






The It's more Addictive than Crack Video Game Award- WWE 13- Ever since I got this as a Christmas present, I can't stop playing it. Good controls, creation abilities, graphics, and the Attitude Era stuff makes this a most own!!








Toy Line of the Year- Pop! by Funko- Seriously, I LOVE this line!! After getting the Leatherface and bloody Daryl "The Walking Dead" Dixon toys, I need to get more and more!! Cute and wonderfully detailed, these are the first toys in ages I've started collecting.



Well that's it as far as these awards go, hope 2013 has lots of great stuff in store for all of us! 

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My (Almost) Life-Long Love for Jaws

This week has been AMAZING for fellow shark lovers, as it's Shark Week over on Discovery Channel, which I look forward to every freaking year(!), and, yesterday, we saw the release of the single greatest killer animal horror film, Steven Spielberg's Jaws, on blu-ray. This post is all about my love and adoration for that classic. 

I been a fan of Jaws since I was a kid. I remember watching it and loving it. Mind you, I was already was fascinated by both monsters and animals and this combined both. Here was a horror movie that featured a killer shark, and from then on I was enamored by sharks. I still am. It was also one of the first horror films I was ever obsessed with. 

The story is a simple one, as then you Steven Spielberg directed a movie based on Peter Benchley's best seller. In it a shark terrorizes a community and a police chief (Roy Schieder), a marine biologist (Richard Dreyfuss), and a salty shark hunter (Robert Shaw) team up to stop and kill it.

What sets Jaws apart form any other film like it is the quality of it. The acting is excellent, as is the character interaction. Also, there is the intensity and scariness of the movie. Spielberg directs it to nail-biting perfection. Add in John Williams score, one of the greatest and most recognizable in horror history, and you have a perfect movie.

The movie was a HUGE hit and became the first summer blockbuster. It inspired three sequels:
Jaws 2- which is a good, solid film and can be seen as a slasher film with a shark
Jaws 3D- which is the first horror film I saw in the movies. I did see it in 3D and loved it. But, revisting it, minus the 3D, it sucks. But, Leah Thompson looks yummy. I'm not a shark and I wanna eat her!!!
Jaws: The Revenge- a godawful film that ranks as one of the worst horror sequels, EVER made!!!



Like any great film, it's been ripped-off countless of times. It, in fact, ranks as one of the most ripped-off horror films of all time. While some like Piranha (both the original and the remake), Orca, and Alligator are great most are complete and utter shit. Just look at SyFy who rape this movie all the fuckin time. The movie to the right, Italy's Great White, was such a rip-off of it, Universal took to court! Doh!

Like I said, I've loved this film since I was a child. Because of it, and my aforementioned love of sharks, I had lots of shark toys. I also owned and played the NES game which was total shit, but hey it was Jaws...

I have owned Jaws on LD and DVD, but the blu-ray is the best it's ever looked and sounded!! It looks brand new!! Amazing!! Great extra features, too!!! Go get this fucker now, if you ain't done so yet! It's one of the year's true most buy discs!! That does lead me to one thing, though: I had read in Horrorhound mag that the sequels were coming to blu-ray, as well. In fact, it stated that 3 was gonna be in 3D. Now, I don't own, nor will I ever own, a 3D blu-ray player or TV, but this would have been cool. Cooler, still if they did it with glasses like Friday the 13th 3D and My Bloody Valentine were released. As bad as it is; if they had done that I would've bought it! Just for nostalgia and the importance it has to both my childhood and horror fandom.

 

Regardless, Jaws remains one of the greatest movies ever made. To me, it is Spielberg's very best, a film I hold near and dear to my heart. And, one I know almost, by heart. If you fear going into the water, it's cause you know that big, bad shark is waiting for you... And, true fans of fear and great cinema wouldn't have it other way!! 

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Thou Shalt Not Kill… Except

You wanna see Sam Raimi play a Charles Manson type killer? Then Thou Shalt Not Kill... Except is THE movie for you! Check out my review of this fun flick for best-horror-movies.com here: http://www.best-horror-movies.com/thou-shall-not-kill-except-1985-review.html

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Intruder

 

Up now is my latest review for best-horror-movies.com for the ultra-gory slasher flick, Intruder, which is directed by Scott Spiegel and features Sam and Ted Raimi in supporting roles, as well as cameos by Lawrence Bender and Bruce Campbell. You can read it here: http://www.best-horror-movies.com/intruder-1989-review.html

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Chiller Theatre April 2012

Another Chiller has passed us by. But, what a time it was! While, I may not have gone up to as many celebs as I have in the past, I can tell you that I had the most fun, I ever have! And, I have been going to this event for years!

My friend Alan picked up Baldwin and I early in the morning. Then we met up with Pat. And, a little later I met up with Kristie, Kristin P., Mike, and Erika. This meant that at this Chiller, I had myself an entourage of the most awesome friends and fellow fans, ever!

The first celeb I went up to was the lovely Melina, former WWE women's champion. She was sitting there with the very sweet and beautiful Rosita of TNA. Rosita wasn't signing sadly, as she was just sitting in with her friend. Regardless, they both talked up a storm with Erika and me and were sweethearts. The internet loves to talk to talk shit, but I am here to say that Melina is so sweet and nice, in person. Both of them were.

The first celeb I actually payed to meet was Lilian Gracia, who has sung the National Anthem at WWE events and was/ sometimes still is a ring-announcer for them. She was also very sweet and friendly and happy to talk to us. We got a Polaroid with her.

The only other celeb I met was Maryam D'Abo who was one of my fav Bond girls growing up. She signed my DVD of The Living Daylights, which is easily my fav Timothy Dalton Bond film. She said she had never seen this release, in particular. I told her it was an older rerelease, 2007 to be precise, and that I had gotten it as a birthday gift.

Between the fun we had lunch, hung around the con, and bought lots of cool shit. I got myself a stunning Suspiria t-shirt from a guy who was selling his art. I have seen his art in Horrorhound and Rue Morgue magazines. Amazing! I also bought myself, a Blue Velvet tee. I saw that shirt at a horror tee site and wanted it as soon as I saw it. When, I spotted it towards the end of the con itself, when Kristin D. got herself a sweet Misfits tee, I had to buy it. It took them a while to find my size, but they eventually did. Rejoice!! I also got blu-rays of Zombie, Intruder, Thou Shalt Not Kill... Except!, and Frankenhooker. 

Finally the party came and we partied harder than anyone!! I mean we had a fucking blast!!!! And, of course the Dead Elvi kicked fucking ass.  At one point Bebe Buell joined them onstage. She has a great voice!!

In all, I had such a fucking blast that this one will go down in history. Cause, hanging with your closet and best friends at one of the best cons in the world is gonna always mean total and complete epicness!! Here's to the next one!!!

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The Deadly Duo (blu-ray)

Title: The Deadly Duo
Year: 1971
Min: 81
Director: Chang Chen
Writer: Ni Yuang
Cast: David Chiang, Ti Lung, Wu Feng, Wang Chung, Stanley Feng, Chen Hsing

Taking place during the Sung Dynasty, this film tells the tale of a group of heroes, that with the help of two great kung-fu warriors (David Chiang and Ti Lung) hope to save a prince that is heavily guarded by a legion of bad guys.

There is very little in the way of plot or character development, but you won't care cause the action never stops. Moving at a breakneck pace the movie never stops kicking ass. The fight scenes are beautifully choreographed and the violence is hard and bloody. Both of the leads are charismatic and good.

The exciting climax has so much ass kicking, you butt might start to hurt! This is a solid entry from the Shaw Brothers that fans of martial arts film will want to add to their collection for sure!

The blu-ray release from Media Blaster's Tokyo Shock looks absolutely gorgeous!! The colors are rich and bright and there are is no grain or pops on the screen. It truly looks flawless. Sound wise, though I must say that I am disappointed as the 5.1 surround sound can only be heard in the terrible English dubbing. You have to watch it with the original Mono sound to hear in it's original Mandarin language. That, to me, is a fail on Media Blaster's part. That being said the subtitles are clear and easy to read, but seem to be taken from the dubbed version and not the actual translation (as is proved by one of the trailers on the disc).

As far as extras we get two very good interviews with both of the leads, David Chiang and Ti Lung, conducted by a very pretty Chinese lady. Their is a trailer gallery with some more Tokyo Shock releases, as well as a pretty cool still gallery

Movie: ***1/2 out of ****
Picture: ****
Sound: ***
Extras: ***

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Now playing: Sodom - The Conqueror
via FoxyTunes

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