The 10 Best Horror Remakes of All Time

This Friday one of my favorite vampire movies has a remake of it hit the theaters: Fright Night (Conan: The Barbarian also hits the movies, but while it's splatter it ain't horror, and I don't think of it as a direct remake). I am not very interested or excited about said movie since the trailer is less than underwhelming. But, I heard a good review or two. I'm not sure I will be seeing anytime soon (but I do wanna see Conan!).



That being said, remakes have been an annoying trend in the genre in the last couple of years. And, while many have been truly, truly rancid (One Missed Call, Psycho, The Fog, etc.) a couple have been been great. This list showcases the very best in the remake department.



10. House of Wax (2005)- This is an interesting remake in that it takes the Gothic setting and styling of the original Vincent Price classic and completely changes it for nasty slasher film territory. It's not a better movie, but is substantially different. There are a couple of memorable moments, include some tense torture scenes. The gorgeous Elisha Cuthbert also makes for a great final girl, one of the best of the 2000s for sure. Even Paris Hilton being in this does not hurt it one bit.









9. My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)- Taking elements of the original (which really ranks as one of the best slashers of the 80s, moreso uncut) and adding its own take, this fun and wild gorefest is one of the most rip-roaring good times movie going experiences of the last few years. The cast and everyone involved seems to be having as much fun as we are watching it. It, more or less, kicked off the 3D trend, but unlike a lot of the recent shit out there, this one works excellently in 3D. Extra points for the DVD release being in 3D (and not that over-priced real 3D shit, either).





8. I Spit on Your Grave (2010)- This one had so much going against it. From the get go I did not think a remake to a nasty, grindhouse film like this could ever work today. But, it does, and surprisingly well at that. Sure it's slicker and lacks the grittiness of the original, but it does not lack the teeth. The humiliation/ rape is still prolonged and nasty. While, the revenge scenes are shocking and gruesome. Punches ain't pulled and the acting is solid, with villains coming off as utter filth and the stunning heroine earning our sympathy. The climax will have your jaw on the floor! Honestly this movie puts the Last House on the Left remake to fucking shame!





7. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)- This movie has been remade a total of four times!! The first three are solid films (the forth, er, not so much...), but, to me, this is the best take on the subject. The FX are flawless, the cast and acting excellent, and the directing top-notch. It's a little slow to start, but once it gets on track it's pretty suspenseful stuff. While, it maybe rated PG it still features some gooey and gross FX (moreso than ANY PG-13 movie of today and some R ones, as well!). Plus, the ending is fucking classic.







6. Halloween (2007)- Now, this is probably my most controversial entry in this countdown. Fans tend to either hate this one or love it. I fall in the later category. I think Zombie added an interesting take on the Myers mythos. Some may not like humanizing of him, but I think it was the right way to go. This way he does not retread territory that's been done before. When, he actually does get into remaking the original, he makes for a good time. The added more graphic violence fits the mold of this movie quite well. And, having Danielle Harris nude is nice, too! The less said of this movie's sequel, the better, though...





5. The Ring (2002)- This movie started the HORRIBLE trend of remake Japanese horror films as well cemented the annoyance of long, black-haired bitch-ghost movies. But, this one is actually that rarest of remakes, one that tops the original. I think the pacing is better here, as are the scares. It's also one of those few PG-13 horrors where the rating actually works. It's real creepy and scary, yet subtle. The lovely Ms. Watts is also a great lead in this movie. There are lots of memorable moments: the video itself, the horse, and the villainess coming out of the TV. But, once again, avoid the sequel at all costs!!!







4. Piranha 3D (2010)- If you though MBV3D was fun, then you ain't seen NOTHING yet!! Easily, THE best 3D experience, this wild, over the top remake tops the modest classic, it's based on. It's filled with blood rushing gore, black humor, cheese, a great cast, babes, and nudity. I like every single thing and frame from this movie. I am actually looking forward to the sequel to this one! The movie ripping it off/ cashing in on it (Shark Night 3D), eh, not so much...







3. The Blob (1988)- This long time favorite of mine simply blows the likable original out of the theater. It has some solid acting and spectacular gore FX. Shit, a kid even dies in it! Yet, it is never mean-spirited and always, always fun. It works in that Aliens sort of mode where action, sci-fi, and horror meld perfectly. Plus, Shawnee Smith looks sooo delicious in it! Cannot begin to tell you the crush I developed on her after this movie. It was a bomb when it came out, but due to fan and critic love, it when on the become a classic. An awesome movie all the way!!!







2. The Thing (1982)- John Carpenter's classic was also a bomb when it came out. But, since then this claustrophobic classic has been worshiped by fans all over the world. It would make for a perfect marathon with the aforementioned The Blob and Aliens. In fact, I think I need to do that one of these days!! Anyway, Bottin's FX are flawless, and Keith David and Kurt Russel are just awesome in it. So is the rest of the cast. That said the reremake coming out later this year seems positively uninteresting...





1. The Fly (1986)- David Cronenberg's masterpiece tops the list. It's always been my fav remake and will probably always be. Adding emotion and heart to the story and combining it with excellent acting and flawless FX make for a perfect film. The gore is gruesome and the score is classic. It also happens to be THE best beauty and the beast tale, since the original King Kong. Cronenberg's best movie is one that will always have a special place in my heart.









So, those are my choices. I really had to think about this one long and hard, but I soon found myself connecting with I ended up picking. Now, I'm curious. What are your thoughts on my list? What would have ranked?

You have read this article Halloween / horror films / House of Wax / I Spit On Your Grave / Invasion of the Body Snatchers / My Bloody Valentine 3D / Piranha 3D / remakes / The Blob / The Fly / The Ring / The Thing with the title The Fly. You can bookmark this page URL http://thestoryoc.blogspot.com/2011/08/the-10-best-horror-remakes-of-all-time.html. Thanks!

The Top 10 Horror Films of the '80s

The 80s were a huge time for horror. The success of the Halloween, Friday the 13th, and A Nightmare on Elm Street franchises saw an almost never ending batch of slasher films get released. Meanwhile, the birth of the VCR allowed more movies than ever to be accessible to viewers, many due to their graphic content could never play in theaters, expect for the most limited of releases, if it all. It also presented the genre with shit loads of controversy, as movies like I Spit on Your Grave, Maniac, Faces of Death, Silent Night, Deadly Night, etc spawned protests, outrage, and anger from critics, feminist group, and the right wing. Whatever the case maybe this is the era that sealed me as a horror fan for life, as by 1987, I was renting horror movies nonstop and reading Fangoria and Gorezone magazines.

10. - This is the greatest zombie film that is not Re-Animator or made by George Romero. Fulci's atmospheric mix of the supernatural and zombie films is his masterpiece. The gore set pieces are astounding, not the least of which is the little girl who gets the top of her head blown off. It also features two great leads in the beautiful Catorina MacCall and David Warbeck. Awesome stuff.

9. - This is the thinking man's zombie film, as Romero takes on the military and man being it's own worst enemy. The dialogue between the characters is classic. Rhodes (Joe Pilato) is a great villain, and, perhaps, worse than the zombies. He and his cronies' sexist words to Lori Caridelli's character (along with all the goings on in the movie) help seal this as the darkest entry in the series. But, beyond all of that DOTD also features THE best gore in Romero's movies, zombie or not. Savini's work is at top form, and the climax is completely and utterly jaw dropping. While, this film was dismissed upon it's initial release; it is now considered a classic. I have to say that I always liked this movie, and it has only gotten better with time. Oh, and Bub rules!

8. - While, this movie feels more like a remake of Sam Raimi's classic The Evil Dead, Raimi swears that it is a sequel, it's just Ash is so stupid he does the same exact thing twice (at least that is Raimi's explanation)! Regardless of what it is, Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn manages to top the amazing original. The mix of over-the-top gore and humor makes it one of the best "splatstick" films ever. It also insured that star Bruce Campbell would become a cult fav. Gotta love the whole, possessed chick gets her head stomped on, then has her eye sent flying into a pretty girl's screaming mouth! And, there is no denying the amazing camera work that Raimi incorporates in it. Regardless of one's feelings about crap like Spider-Man 3, Raimi will always be the guy who made the Evil Dead films!

7. - Cronenberg's biggest mainstream hit (up to this point) remains his best film, I think. The acting, writing, score, gore, heart, and amazing FX make this one perfect, in my book.

6. - Joe Dante's masterpiece is the single greatest werewolf film ever. Sure it spawned horrid sequels, but fuck e'm. Let's concentrate on this classic. The cast is amazing, as is Bottin's FX work. The first transformation scene is one of the finest moments in the genre. The love for the genre just drips from this movie. There are so many nods, winks, and tributes to the horror film, that it only makes it better in each viewing. And, what about the scene where the lovely Elizabeth Brooks gets it on with Christopher Stone and wolfs out? Or what about the classic ending? Or... well you get the idea!

5. - Sean Cunningham's classic may have gotten ripped by critics upon it's release, but the movie went on to make a shitload of money and spawn a total of ten sequels! It introduced horror villain, Jason Voorhees (but only as the freaky mongoloid in the water), and along with Carpenter's Halloween helped define the slasher film, i.e. they were ripped off a million times. But, the fact is this classic works where it others fail, because the characters are likable and well written. Also, the movie builds the suspense all the way till the exciting and violent climax. But, of course it is impossible to talk about this film and not mention Savini's astounding FX work. The gore, even though cut to get an R (by the way, fans rejoice, the movie is, along with the first two sequels coming uncut, finally, to DVD in February), is hard stuff, with the pretty girl getting the ax to her face, Jason's mommy losing her head in slo-mo, and most classic of all, Kevin Bacon getting an arrow through his neck, all shining as great moments in slasherdom.

4. - British writer Clive Barker had already made a name for himself with his sexually and violently explicit works of fiction, like his seminal Books of Blood, when he made the jump to write and direct this adaption of his novella The Hellbound Heart. One of the most exhilarating debuts by a director since The Evil Dead or Re-Animator, Hellraiser was gorgeous to look at and highly original in a genre where ripping off Friday the 13th, Gremlins, Jaws, etc was the norm. It gave us a new villain in Pinhead and the Cenobites, and featured some great acting from the cast, was sexy thanks to villainess Claire Higgins, gave us a horror goddess in the stunning Ashley Lawrence, and awashed in gore. The S&M images of the leather clad Cenobites and the whole hell is where pain and pleasure meet set it light years ahead of it's competition. The ending with villain Frank saying "Jesus wept", right before getting ripped apart by the hellish hooks is a classic horror moment.

3. - With slasher films already filled with Halloween and Friday the 13th wanna-bes, Wes Craven's defining masterpiece breathed new life into the slasher film. Surreal and scary Craven made the most of the low budget story of child-murderer Freddy Kruger who returns from the grave. The whole fact that he then invades teen's dreams, and if you die there you die in real life was wonderfully original. Freddy would go to become the single most popular horror villain of the era, followed very closely by Jason and Michael, but whereas the sequels, injected more humor in the films, the original has but a few one liners from Kruger. Mostly he is kept dark and scary. The FX work is stunning, moreso when one thinks of how little the film cost. Johnny Depp's classic death, where his bed shoots gallons of blood is yet, another defining moment in the genre. And, beyond of all that one of the genre's greatest, and prettiest, heroines was introduced in Nancy (Heather Langenkamp). In all one of the finest horror films, ever made.

2. - James Cameron had a tough job in front of him. He had to make a sequel to one of the most famous, influential, and downright scary sci-fi/ horror films ever made. But guess what? He succeed! Not only that but he totally blew away the original classic. Stan Winston's godlike work on the FX ranks as the best, EVER. The Alien Queen is one of the greatest monsters in film history. The pacing is adrenalinized and rip roaring, and the movie perfectly mixes action, science fiction, and horror. But, while it is a very gung-ho and exciting film; it also has a lot of heart. At, it's core is the story of this woman, left without a child, who now has this little girl she has to care for. It succeeds it making you care and does not turn into some wimpy mush. Of course, the movie does not forget nor abandon the horror genre. Witness the nail bitingly intense scene of Ripley (Sigorney Weaver) and Newt trapped in the room with the facehuggers, or absolutely amazing splatter moment, where good android Bishop (Lance Henrikson) gets ripped in half by the Queen (after impaling him in her tail) spraying white, milky robo-blood everywhere.

1. - This my absolute favorite film ever. I have been in love with this film since I saw it at about twelve years of age. Every single thing about this film is perfect. The characters are played by great actors, with Jeffery Combs and David Gale giving amazing performances. The script is fun, whitty, and funny, and very over-the-top. Babara Crampton, as Megan, is one of the most beautiful women to ever grace our beloved genre. Her scene where Dr. Hill (Gale) gives her head, with his decapitated head is truly one of horror's greatest and most infamous scenes. Despite the very low budget, the gore and zombie FX are fucking flawless. Stuart Gordon's debut adaption of H.P. Lovecraft short story is truly one of the most fucking kick ass movies ever made. Watch it, if you never have. Watch it again if you have!

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The Top 5 David Cronenberg Films

Recently, I have been watching a bunch of David Cronenberg films, including watching Shivers (the first time I am seeing that film). Cronenberg is one of my favorite, if not in fact, my favorite director. While, he has mostly abandoned horror, post A History of Violence (although that film has elements horror fans can appreciate) his movies are still graphic and outside of what the typical, mainstream filmmaker would create. Also, aside from the unwatchable, to me anyways, Naked Lunch, I have never seen a bad film from him. That said I have no desire toe ever see M. Butterfly (his first non-horror film) and have yet to see Spider and Eastern Promises.

Overall his body of work is comprised of many classics, and he is the thinking man's horror director. Plus, his main running theme of body horror, sets him outside of others in the genre. In all, the man is a master, and, to me, these are his five best films. All of which you need to see, or if you already saw them, watch over again.

1. - My absolute fav Cronenberg film is, also, the best remake ever made. Chris Walas' FX work ranks among the best the genre has seen, with great looking monster make-up and animatronics and gruesome and gross content (including- acid vomit, arm breaking arm wrestling, an exploding head, maggot birth, etc), the movie also works because of the excellent acting and writing. You really feel sorry for the two main leads, Davis and Goldblum. And, the ending is actually very tragic. This is the ultimate beauty and the beast story and remains one of Cronenberg's biggest and best known films.

2. The best of his work in the 70s, The Brood is undeniably gruesome (in particular the scene where Samantha Eggar bites into the sack that holds one of her brood births), but it is also smart and one of his most powerful films. The acting is strong, and once again despite the gross-out moments, there is a strong message about the horrors of child abuse and the cycle and after results they create. Plus, like The Fly, there is a role that seems to be a villain but then becomes a hero. Not only that but Cronenberg has a way, in this film in particular, to make the impossible seem realistic in a scientific sense. And, that is no mean feat there.

3. - If ever there was a film that defines the "body horror" of Cronenberg it is this one. It is also a film that only gets more and more fascinating with each repeated viewing. Commenting on the affects of sex and violence in entertainment (in a film that is chockful of them), the age of video, what is real and what is not. I mean there are themes upon themes here. The cast is great. The grotesque make-up FX are shocking (witness the gory squibs, exploding head, vagina-like stomach opening, flesh guns, TV's barfing out guts, etc.). The story is not for everyone, but smart audiences, horror fans, and well those with an interest in Debra' Harry's hot, naked body, need to watch this. But, not just once... "Long live the new flesh!"

4. - After it seemed that Cronenberg could not get back to excellent level he is known for; he delivers this. While, the gruesome and sexually charged Crash was a good film, it was not up on par with the films on this list. This one is. Playing like what it is, a mainstream film by way of Cronenberg, this graphic action/ thriller is the only non-horror film on this list. But, as I said before it does have materiel that horror fans can sink their teeth into. The shocking, brutal violence (bludgeoning, gory squibs, head-shots, etc) and the strong sexual content (including full frontal nudity by the absolutely gorgeous Maria Bello and her getting a brutal fucking on the stairs) should be more than enough to please them. The movie is also a fascinating character study, one that only gets better after each viewing.

5. - The last film on my list, may have the least amount of shocking content, but by no means is it a walk through the park. A horrifying dream scene and the bloody, depressing ending, as well as the sex make sure your grandma won't be asking to see this one. Jeremy Irons gives his best performance ever, I think, and so does Genevieve Bojuld. A powerful, dark, and downer mix of horror, drama, and thriller.

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