Riley Steele Retires! No Wait She Didn't

 

Two weeks ago on July 19th, I found out some heartbreaking news: the lovely Riley Steele had retired. I went on my Facebook Page (which you totally should "like" cause I update just about everyday and has a ton of stuff you won't find here), and wished her the best of luck. This came a day after another Digital Playground blonde beauty, Bibi Jones, has also called it quits. I thought Riley would find great success in mainstream films. After all, she was awesome in Piranha 3D.

But, on July 24th, we soon learned that it was a joke! Thank God!! Honestly, I think the world is happier place now that we know that Riley has not left smut-land! Imagine a world where she would no longer be fucking and sucking on camera and getting it on with other hot chick! That would be a sad and tragic world, indeed.

Riley is easily one of porn's biggest stars. Being a huge fan of Jesse Jane (though, how can one not be?), she entered the industry after meeting her. She soon found herself in her first onscreen scene in 2008 in the now classic Pirates: Stagnotti's Revenge. Following this, she immediately became a Digital Playground contract girl. In 2010, she made her mainstream acting debut in the aforementioned Piranha 3D insuring her growing fame.

When, I met her at the 2011 Adult Entertainment Expo, she had a ton of photographers and media people all over her, yet, as I have said before, she was and remains a very down-to-earth and sweet, bubbly girl. I always say to be sure to go up to her at any show you see her at. You'll be so happy that you did. It's great that she's never let success go to her head.

Combine this with her bombshell good looks and awesome on-screen fucking abilities, and you can see why I and every other true fan of adult cinema is happy that she's still in the skin biz. So, let's raise a toast and celebrate that Riley Steele ain't retired!

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The 10 Best Horror Remakes of All Time

This Friday one of my favorite vampire movies has a remake of it hit the theaters: Fright Night (Conan: The Barbarian also hits the movies, but while it's splatter it ain't horror, and I don't think of it as a direct remake). I am not very interested or excited about said movie since the trailer is less than underwhelming. But, I heard a good review or two. I'm not sure I will be seeing anytime soon (but I do wanna see Conan!).



That being said, remakes have been an annoying trend in the genre in the last couple of years. And, while many have been truly, truly rancid (One Missed Call, Psycho, The Fog, etc.) a couple have been been great. This list showcases the very best in the remake department.



10. House of Wax (2005)- This is an interesting remake in that it takes the Gothic setting and styling of the original Vincent Price classic and completely changes it for nasty slasher film territory. It's not a better movie, but is substantially different. There are a couple of memorable moments, include some tense torture scenes. The gorgeous Elisha Cuthbert also makes for a great final girl, one of the best of the 2000s for sure. Even Paris Hilton being in this does not hurt it one bit.









9. My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)- Taking elements of the original (which really ranks as one of the best slashers of the 80s, moreso uncut) and adding its own take, this fun and wild gorefest is one of the most rip-roaring good times movie going experiences of the last few years. The cast and everyone involved seems to be having as much fun as we are watching it. It, more or less, kicked off the 3D trend, but unlike a lot of the recent shit out there, this one works excellently in 3D. Extra points for the DVD release being in 3D (and not that over-priced real 3D shit, either).





8. I Spit on Your Grave (2010)- This one had so much going against it. From the get go I did not think a remake to a nasty, grindhouse film like this could ever work today. But, it does, and surprisingly well at that. Sure it's slicker and lacks the grittiness of the original, but it does not lack the teeth. The humiliation/ rape is still prolonged and nasty. While, the revenge scenes are shocking and gruesome. Punches ain't pulled and the acting is solid, with villains coming off as utter filth and the stunning heroine earning our sympathy. The climax will have your jaw on the floor! Honestly this movie puts the Last House on the Left remake to fucking shame!





7. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)- This movie has been remade a total of four times!! The first three are solid films (the forth, er, not so much...), but, to me, this is the best take on the subject. The FX are flawless, the cast and acting excellent, and the directing top-notch. It's a little slow to start, but once it gets on track it's pretty suspenseful stuff. While, it maybe rated PG it still features some gooey and gross FX (moreso than ANY PG-13 movie of today and some R ones, as well!). Plus, the ending is fucking classic.







6. Halloween (2007)- Now, this is probably my most controversial entry in this countdown. Fans tend to either hate this one or love it. I fall in the later category. I think Zombie added an interesting take on the Myers mythos. Some may not like humanizing of him, but I think it was the right way to go. This way he does not retread territory that's been done before. When, he actually does get into remaking the original, he makes for a good time. The added more graphic violence fits the mold of this movie quite well. And, having Danielle Harris nude is nice, too! The less said of this movie's sequel, the better, though...





5. The Ring (2002)- This movie started the HORRIBLE trend of remake Japanese horror films as well cemented the annoyance of long, black-haired bitch-ghost movies. But, this one is actually that rarest of remakes, one that tops the original. I think the pacing is better here, as are the scares. It's also one of those few PG-13 horrors where the rating actually works. It's real creepy and scary, yet subtle. The lovely Ms. Watts is also a great lead in this movie. There are lots of memorable moments: the video itself, the horse, and the villainess coming out of the TV. But, once again, avoid the sequel at all costs!!!







4. Piranha 3D (2010)- If you though MBV3D was fun, then you ain't seen NOTHING yet!! Easily, THE best 3D experience, this wild, over the top remake tops the modest classic, it's based on. It's filled with blood rushing gore, black humor, cheese, a great cast, babes, and nudity. I like every single thing and frame from this movie. I am actually looking forward to the sequel to this one! The movie ripping it off/ cashing in on it (Shark Night 3D), eh, not so much...







3. The Blob (1988)- This long time favorite of mine simply blows the likable original out of the theater. It has some solid acting and spectacular gore FX. Shit, a kid even dies in it! Yet, it is never mean-spirited and always, always fun. It works in that Aliens sort of mode where action, sci-fi, and horror meld perfectly. Plus, Shawnee Smith looks sooo delicious in it! Cannot begin to tell you the crush I developed on her after this movie. It was a bomb when it came out, but due to fan and critic love, it when on the become a classic. An awesome movie all the way!!!







2. The Thing (1982)- John Carpenter's classic was also a bomb when it came out. But, since then this claustrophobic classic has been worshiped by fans all over the world. It would make for a perfect marathon with the aforementioned The Blob and Aliens. In fact, I think I need to do that one of these days!! Anyway, Bottin's FX are flawless, and Keith David and Kurt Russel are just awesome in it. So is the rest of the cast. That said the reremake coming out later this year seems positively uninteresting...





1. The Fly (1986)- David Cronenberg's masterpiece tops the list. It's always been my fav remake and will probably always be. Adding emotion and heart to the story and combining it with excellent acting and flawless FX make for a perfect film. The gore is gruesome and the score is classic. It also happens to be THE best beauty and the beast tale, since the original King Kong. Cronenberg's best movie is one that will always have a special place in my heart.









So, those are my choices. I really had to think about this one long and hard, but I soon found myself connecting with I ended up picking. Now, I'm curious. What are your thoughts on my list? What would have ranked?

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The 10 Best Movies of 2010

As another year has ended it is time for my list of the year's best. Once again, this list is not at all like the other best of movie list out there. And, I wouldn't have it any other way! By the way, I didn't see Inception, The Fighter, or True Grit, so just warning you. I'll see them eventually, but really I am in real rush to do so. Anyways, here's they are:

10. The Runaways- Here's a film I was curious about since I first heard about it. I'm a fan of the band and of the beautiful Kristen Stewart. I had a feeling she could do some great acting if given a good script. This is the proof of it! She really IS Joan Jett! I actually questioned the casting of Dakota Fanning, as I was never a fan, really, and I thought she might be too young to be sexy. But, she more than delivered. Great acting from the whole cast, this is a solid bio-pic.

9. Bad Biology- While this movie was made two years ago it was not given a proper release till last year. About time, too. It's Frank (Basket Case Trilogy) Henenlotter's best work in years. Funny, gory, sexy, and jaw-dropping, this over-the-top horror/ comedy shows that he is definitely one of horror's most audicious and fun filmmaker's. No one makes a movie like him! And, there is NO movie, in any year, that is like this one. Mutant penis and vagina. Yep, you read that right. The lead actress is quite yummy, too. If you ain't seen this one, then you need to, but not if your easily offended. But, if you are, then why are reading my blog?!

8. The Expendables- An action fans' wet dream come true, this has just about anyone you could want from action cinema in it. Stallone's directing keeps things moving fast, and the movie is a ton of fun. The copious amounts of graphic violence gives it a further kick in the ass. One of the year's most satisfying, as far as hype goes anyways, movies.




7. Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy- While both Halloween and Friday the 13th have had docus made on them, this one on the Nightmare movies is the best one. In fact it is one of the finest and most comprehensive docus in the history of horror cinema. Everything you could ever want to know and more (and even more, with the DVD's extra features!) is included. Great interviews and always entertaining. It might clock in at three hours, but if you are a true fan, you'll never feel it. Extra points for not covering the remake (surely one of last year's worst films!)!


6. Edge of Darkness- Before I go any further, let's get one thing clear: Mel Gibson is a fucking asshole. I can't fucking stand him (and I used to be a huge fan). But, let's base this movie on it's own credit, not on the dickhead in the lead role. A well directed, intense, and smart revenge film, EoD keeps you on the edge (pun not intended) of your seat. It also manages to tug at the heart, and the brutal violence reminds you of the sub-genre you are viewing. And, as much as I hate to admit it, Mel pulls off a great performance. It's a shame his idiotic behavior made this one get lost by some fans.


5. Toy Story 3- Pixar does it again! They pull off another great animated movie that makes my list for the third year in a row! As Darth Vader would say, "Impressive! Most impressive". This movie manages to be exciting, funny, and, even, touching. The best entry in the series, and the single best animated movie of last year!





4. Piranha 3D- This is THE best remake of 2010, in fact it ranks as one of the best remakes in the history of mankind. It also happens to be the best 3D movie of last year (the worst 3D movie is also the worst movie, of last year- Resident Evil: Afterlife). Anyways, this is one of 2010's most fun movie going experiences. It's wonderfully exploitative and totally funny. And, the gore? Wow!! This one pushes the R-rating to its limits. Bissecetion, castration, floating implants, etc, this one turns the blue waters bloody red. The cast is cool, too, with Jerry O'Connel as a sleazy pornographer getting my fav asshole role of the year. Then, there are the babes that include porn star Riley Steele and the still beautiful Elizabeth Shue. And, even Gianna Michaels has a cameo. There is tons of nudity and lesbian action. Fuck man, this movie has just about everything!!!

3. Machete- Speaking about movie that has it all, Machete, is another that does. Hot girls, ultra-violence, and the coolest cast outside of The Expendables. Trejo is just fucking awesome as the movie's hero. This was yet another fun and totally enjoyable time I had in the movies. It is what it sets itself out to be, a big budget exploitation film. Oh, Tom Savini's role is one of the funniest and most awesome roles of the year. Shit, even Steven Seagal is cool in this one!!


2. Black Swan- Some say it's a horror film, some say it ain't. I say it is. It's a psychological horror flick and a searing one at that. It's a truly nightmarish experience that gets deep into your psyche. It also happens to be beautifully shot and directed. The performances are amazing, especially by the the stunning Natalie Portman. Her much ballyhooed lesbian action with Mila Kunis manages to be both erotic and disturbing. And, that is no mean feat! In the end, what we have here is 2010's best horror film, bar none. And, the most frightening horror movie of last year, as well.


1. Kick Ass- The best movie of last year may not have been a huge box-office smash (although, it should have been!!!), but it is such a fun and, well thoroughly KICK ASS film. That makes it the most appropriately named film of last year! The cast is likable and quite good. This Nicolas Cage's best role in years (this coming from someone who couldn't stand Cage in the last few years). But, it's Hit Girl that fucking owns this one. Her controversial role, as a 12 year old vigilante that kills bad guys and curses like a fucking sailor, is 2010's most awesome character. The ultra-violence makes this one an even harder ass kicker. Without a shadow of a doubt one of the finest super-hero movies ever made.

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Now playing: Cradle of Filth - The Nun with the Astral Habit
via FoxyTunes

You have read this article 2010 / action films / Bad Biology / Black Swan / Edge of Darkness / horror films / Kick Ass / Machete / Never Sleep Again / Piranha 3D / revenge films / The Expendables / The Runaways / Toy Story 3 with the title Piranha 3D. You can bookmark this page URL http://thestoryoc.blogspot.com/2011/01/the-10-best-movies-of-2010.html. Thanks!