Marvel's The Avengers

Title: Avengers
Director & writer: Joss Whedon
Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Tom Hiddleston

The evil god of mischief, and brother to Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Loki (Tom Hiddleston) takes the tesseract cube (last seen in the awesome Captain America movie and also known as the Cosmic Cube by comic-book fans) and uses it to bring an alien army to enslave humanity. Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) and S.H.I.E.L.D soon gather Earth's mightiest heroes to form the Avenger's Innovative. And, while at first they clash, they come to terms and unite to save the NYC from sure destruction.

Let's not even mince words here, this IS THE ultimate superhero film. It tops the original Iron Man (which I always liked more than Dark Knight) and is perfection on celluloid. From the beginning to the very end, it is a rip-roaring, full throttle assault. This dear readers is fucking nirvana.

Whedon scores again, as he did with the amazing Cabin in the Woods, he proves he is a true fanboy and gives us the kind of movie you see only in your wettest comic-book dream (OK. not the one where the Black Widow fucks Spider-Woman with a strap-on but maybe the porn parody will have that). There is NEVER a boring second, as it moves at a breathtaking pace. The FX are jaw-dropping and the images of massive death and destruction are simply killer.

The acting is great! The amazing script allows all the characters to get the right amount of time and interaction is perfect between them. Downey Jr. is excellent as always as my fav Avenger Iron Man, he has some of the best lines in the movie. Hemsworth is great as Thor. Evans is just so fucking good as Captain America. Johansson, whom I haven't liked for years, was much, much better as Black Widow here, than she ever was in Iron Man 2. In fact, to me this is is her best acting in ages. And, the first time in centuries she inspired any sexual attraction in me. But, to me Cobie Smolders, as Agt. Hill, is hotter. Anyway, Ruffalo is excellent as Bruce Banner, and the Hulk RULES in this movie. They finally got him perfect!!! I really liked Renner as Hawkeye. He was a badass. But, it's Hiddleston's Loki that really shines, as an arrogant, evil asshole.

I LOVED the two scenes that happen in the middle and the end of the credits. FUCKING AWESOME!!!

This movie has made a KILLING at the box office and rightfully so. A fucking godsend this is a two hour and a half geekgasm!! It is THE movie of the year, and I doubt any movie will top it. See it again!! NOW!!!!

**** out of ****

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TV Shows Round Up- Aug 2011

For those of you who think that think that just cause it ain't Fall there ain't nothing to watch on TV, you're so fucking wrong. In fact, there is some really good stuff on TV, right now. Here's a round up for some of the stuff, I'm watching currently.

WARNING: SOME SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!

All reviews out of 4 stars (and are based on how the show has been up and until this point in time).

Torchwood: Miracle Day- The fourth series from the BBC show (but the first to be in collaboration with the US), this amazing sci-fi drama on Starz is jaw droppingly good. In it, Miracle Day has come and no one dies. Ever. NO matter what happens to them or is done to them. It brings up some great philosophical questions, that coupled with the great writing and acting make for excellent genre television. Last night's ending, involving what is done to those who should be dead, has a real "HOLY SHIT!! THAT'S fucked up!!!" feel to it. Highly recommended. ****

Thundercats- This update on the classic 80s toon, is like the 2001 He-Man and the Masters of the Universe toon, a HUGE improvement over the original. It's darker, smarter, and more mature. The animation is stunning and action scenes are exciting. Plus, Snarf don't talk, characters die, and Lion-O is cool as fuck. And, Mumm-Ra fucking rules! It's only been three episodes (including the premiere which was two episodes in one), but it's already got my fullest attention. Also highly recommended. ****


G4/ Marvel Anime: Iron Man & Wolverine- Like the two aforementioned show, this airs on Friday night, making Friday nights extra awesome and geeky. They are the first of four Animes based on the Marvel Universe (the next two are The X-Men and Blade). Both feature gorgeous animation. Iron Man is decent enough, Wolverine is the better of the two with some exciting and violent action. Neither are great, yet, but are worth seeing, nonetheless. I like the more mature take on Marvel heroes, as opposed to the usual kid-friendly crap toons. Iron Man- **1/2, Wolverine- ***



True Blood, Season 4- After the highly uneven last season, this one has turned out great, so far. The first episode comes off as all over the place, but it needed to be to set up what would follow. Tara is a lesbian (her girlfriend is HOT!!), Bill is the vampire king of Louisiana, Jason is sheriff, and lot of other plot points. Including the fact that now we got witches!!! And, thanks to them Eric is as sweet and nice as a puppy dog. Sookie and him have hooked up, and it seems to only be getting better and better!! It's good to see one of my fav shows back in form. ***1/2



Celebrity Rehab- In the past I have said I hate most reality TV, but there are always exceptions. I watched some of last season thanks to them having Jennifer "Penny Flame" Ketcham on. This season has Sean Young, Bai Ling, and Amy Fisher, so I had to watch. I have to say I really feel for Ling, her story of what happened to her is heart-wrenching. Steven Adler proves that Axl Rose was not the only asshole in GN'R. In all it's good TV, and I'm glad to be watching it more often, than I had been. ***

Voltron Force- By far the weakest of the shows, that I am reviewing this one ain't bad. But, it's not really great either. It's a sequel to the original TV show. And, it makes up for the errors of that show, IE no corny mice or repetitive episodes, but I still want more Ro-Beasts! Also, I do not like the animation. But, my biggest problem are the kids added to the show. They are suppose to take over for our heroes, when they are done. But, they are mostly annoying, and I wish a Ro-Beast would step on them. I haven't watched it as religiously as I should. But, it just hasn't caught my interest as much. Which means, I forget it is on, sometimes. Oh, well. **

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The 10 Best Movies of 2008

This has been an interesting year for movies. Some long awaited films delivered the goods (Rambo) others fucked up royally (Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull), meanwhile lots of great comic book movies came out (three of which made this list). This list is all comprehensive, so it just horror films, it's all genres. If you are interested in me talking about horror movies, stop by the Gorezone.net messageboards, where I post under Headbanger69. You can always read my reviews for the DVD Crypt, there, too, where I write under my real name: Giovanni Deldio. Anyways, enjoy the list and see any of the movies, you have not yet, seen. By the way, if you are expecting a bunch of boring, whimpy, pussy whipped, pretentious claptrap on this list go read some other lame website or movie rag.

10. - This direct sequel to the amazing Casino Royale is not as good as that film, but is still exciting enough to rank among the best of the Bond film series. While, some of the editing is annoying and intrusive, the climax is really exciting and rousing and Craig is, hands down, one of the best Bonds ever. Olga Kurylenko smokes the screen with her presence, and she is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the most beautiful Bond girls, ever.

9. - Neil Marshall is THE future of the genre. This movie is an awesome, fast paced, fun, ass kicking, ultra-violent love letter to movies like The Road Warrior, Mad Max, and Escape from New York, with doses of Excalibur and 28 Days Later thrown in for good measure. I would say that it is the greatest post-apocalyptic film that does not have Mel Gibson in it (yes, I like it more than the Italian movies form the sub-genre, that I have seen). Plus, lead actress Rhona Mitra is one of the sexiest heroines the screen has ever seen. Rip-roaring fun from start to finish.

8. - Lighter in tone than the original, Guillermo Del Toro manages to make an even better movie, this time around, with this fun, funny, and fast paced fantasy/ monster flick. Ron Pearlman is good as the horror comic hero and the creatures are just so cool in this one. The FX are excellent, but this movie also has a heart, something many a blockbuster forgets. Del Toro continually proves to be one of the best directors in the horror/ dark fantasy world.

7. - This is the crowning achievement of Pixar, their best film, yet, even better than the wonderful Finding Nemo. The fact that this stunning movie is so great, with such little dialogue is a testament to the creative team behind it. It is funny, sweet, touching, cute, and always breathtaking to look at. I actually cried at parts and laughed at others. Wall-E is one of the most endearing characters in the history of cinema.

6. - With the death of lead star Heath Ledger and all the praise his role as the Joker was getting and the hype revolving around this film, it had a lot to live up. And, boy did it deliver and in spades! Director/ co-writer Christopher Nolan gave us one of the greatest superhero films, ever, a dark, mature, powerful, deep, and realistic take on being a superhero. By not playing it safe or for the kiddies, this movie succeeds where so many have failed. The action set pieces are impressive, the sets breathtaking, and the acting excellent. Leger gives us a terrifying, sick, and evil Joker, one of the best villains the screen has seen in quite some time. That is not to said the rest of cast did not deliver, as they pulled in great work as well. This movie has greatly raised the banner for this franchise, can another film really deliver the goods?

5. - The best trailer of 2008 came form this super gory and fun mix of action, splatter, horror, and humor from Japan. It is the goriest movie to hit the screens since Germany's Permutos: Lord of the Living Dead (and while that film was fun, this is light years better). The movie is always light despite some fairly fucked up moments, including off-screen necrophilia! A must for gorehounds, it also has some of the hottest babes to be featured in one film this year. The hottest to me has to be the Japanese beauty who plays the yakuza wife, who wears a fucking drill bra! Amazing and my fav film from the far-East that I saw last year.

4. - As a life long wrestling fan, I was greatly looking forward to this movie. It definitely lived up to my expectations. Rourke gives the performance of a lifetime in a movie that is touching and humorous, at differnt times. It is also, as anyone with knowledge of the wrestling biz can testify, very realistic. I hope this film gives viewers new found respect for wrestlers, as well as see how hard the fall from fame can be. Lovely Evan Rachel Wood has a small role as the daughter and from here we can see a connection to the life of Jake "The Snake" Roberts (in fact while this film is not based on any single wrestler, it is clearly drawn from many real life experiences they have had). Marisa Tomei is great in her role as the beautiful, MILF stripper with a good heart. I have long been a fan of the lovely Ms. Tomei, but she looks drop-dead beautiful in this one, and at 44 looks better than ever! Plus, she gets topless and wears a g-string! Not only that but with music by Accept, Scorpions, Cinderella, and Guns N' Roses, this is THE soundtrack of the year, perhaps, ever! The scene where Tomei and Rourke sign Ratt's classic "Round and Round" is one of the year's coolest moments.

3. - Though, I been a life long fan of comics, I was never a fan of Iron Man, but this movie changed all of that. Today, he joins, Punisher, Spider-Man, and Batman as my absolute fav heroes. Mature, fun, smart, fast paced, exciting, and ass kicking are all words that can be used to describe this modern masterpiece. The FX are flawless and Robert Downey Jr. IS Iron Man, and while playing a rich, womanizing, alcoholic is not a stretch for the man, he more gives Tony Stark his due. Director and fanboy John Favreau has given the single greatest superhero film, ever. A perfect movie and I don't say that very often. The ending is fucking classic.

2. - Who would ever have thought that the return of John Rambo would turn out to be not only the best one in the series, but one of the best action films ever made? I have discussed this film before, here, so I will just gone to say that this movie, the bloodiest American action film ever, holds on really well on repeated viewings. It also has a great message to it, and how many shoot 'em ups can say that they have that and are still savagely entertaining?

1. - Inside is, along with The Descent, the best horror film to come out of Europe in years. Brutal, vicious, intense, bloody, I could go on and on with my praising of this film, but since I wrote about it here already, I will avoid repeating myself. But, here is my question, if you ain't seen last years best movie, in any genre, what the hell are you waiting for? Seriously, this movie is a future horror classic and needs to be seen by everyone who is tired of the same boring, predicable tripe that the studios dump on us each and every year and try to pass it on as a horror film.

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Now playing: Judas Priest - Devil's Child
via FoxyTunes

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My 5 Favorite Superhero Films of All Time

Hellboy II came out last weekend (still need to see it), and this Friday, The Dark Knight comes out. Both have the chance of being one of the greatest superhero films, ever. But, in honor of that, I give to you, my top five and the reasons, they are in my top five.

1. - As I have mentioned before here, I was never an Iron Man, that is until I saw this film. The character was bought to life perfectly. A womanizing, alcoholic, ass-kicker, and rich guy that saves the world. What is there not to like? The acting is great, the script excellent, the action awesome, the FX killer. The pacing is perfect. In all this is a perfect film. I mean I must have geekgasmed, God knows how many times. The best superhero film, ever. End of story.

2. - This would be king, had not been for a little bit of a slow start, but mostly because of Katie Holmes, who has ZERO acting talent. She really is what stops this film from being perfect. That said, the movie is dark and stunning, with some great villains, acting, set design, action, and dialogue. Plus, Bale IS Batman.

3. - What can be said about a sequel that tops the excellent original? The character interaction is great. I love Wolverine going all berserker. And, there are lots of hotties, including, one of my favs, Kelly Hu. An awesome movie, that sadly, was followed by a disappointing third film. In fact the only that sux in this film is Halle Berry.

4. - This could have been a train wreck, but the killer FX and action give it a must see quality, as does the acting (well with one exception...). This and the sequel got the persecution of the X-Men, right. But, Berry sux in this one, too.

5. T- Now, I know some of you, if not most of you, are shocked at this pick, but hey this is my list, right? First and foremost Punisher is my fav superhero, period. And, with that said, sure this film changed some shit from Frank Castle's origin like making him an FBI agent and moving the action from New York (where most Marvel Comics take place) to Florida, but one change was good, IE, killing ALL his family, not just wife and two kids. Thomas Jane WAS the Punisher, in this film, much in the same way Robert Downey Jr. IS Iron Man. Much, of the film is taken from the classic Welcome Back Frank storyline. The humor was in the book, as was the supporting cast of Frank's neighbors. The graphic violence helps to give this highly underrated film an extra-kick in the ass. Not very excited for the reboot picture that comes out later this year, though...

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In Remembrance of Stan Winston

Stan Winston died on two days ago, on June 15, 2008. he was born on April 7, 1946 (age 62). he passed away of multiple myeloma (it is a type of cancer to plasma cells). An FX master, his passing away is truly sad one for fellow horror and sci-fi fans. The made some of the most memorable creatures to ever hit the big screen.

To me his best work can be seeing in films such as the Monster Squad , The Terminator films, Jurassic park , Predator 1 & 2 , most recently Iron Man , and countless others. Perhaps, his finest moment was the amazing Alien Queen from Aliens.

He also directed cult fav Pumpkinhead , as well as produced gore series Wrong Turn I & II . He, of course, did the FX for of these films, as well. He will be greatly missed by all lovers of monsters, the horrific, the fantastic, the amazing, the out of this world, and the gory. God bless him and may he RIP.

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The 10 Greatest Guy Heroes Ever

With the release of the awesome Dirty Harry DVD box set, i thought it would be fun to run through the 10 greatest guy heroes, ever. they are all badass and are a man's man. Here they go:
10. Iron Man - I could have chosen Batman, but Tony Stark is a cooler "guy hero", if only because he does not lead as a dark a view on things, he is rich, drinks (perhaps harder than anyone on this list being a recovering alcoholic and all), gets lots of hotties, has awesome battle suits to kick evil ass, plus he has a fucking porn mustache. How cool (or not) is that?!

9. Indiana Jones - OK, so the last one was kind of bleh, but ignore it. He gets hot babes and battles Nazis and evil cults and other assorted low lives. And, he does it all with a nice bit of attitude. And, yet somehow, he finds the cool artifact!

8. Marion Cobretti - What do you get when Dirty Harry meets Rambo? Why Cobretti from Cobra of course! Bad ass gun, tooth pick in mouth, and cool car, this dude is one of the coolest cops, ever!

7. Wolverine - Listen the dude kills, fucks hot babes, smokes (but can't die from cancer), has a healing factor, fucking claws come out of the back of his fists, drinks, and has a bad attitude, of course, he is on this list!

6. Snake-Eyes - Despite being mute, there is no more badass G.I. Joe than Snake-Eyes. he is a ninja, has killed lots of bad guys, and gets the hot redhead (Scarlett!). Oh, yeah and he has a pet wolf, how cool is that?!

5. John J. Rambo - In the shoot-em up world, there is no greater one-man army than Rambo. The guy can take on asshole cops, Nam, Soviet, or Burma soldiers and bury their asses. Plus, in the second one he scored a hot Asian girl. that she got snuffed is a different story, but hey, the bad guys got it for doing that. Plus, he always he has the best speeches, even with Stallone's garbled delivery!

4. The Punisher - Of all comic-book heroes none are more deadly than the Punisher. In a world were heroes allow their enemies to live, Castle puts the fuckers six-feet under. And, he has no super powers, which makes that much cooler, in my book.

3. Paul Kersey - Film's definitive vigilante, Death Wish's Kersey takes vengeance on the scum of the world. He does what many wish they could. And, how badass, and awesome, is it, when a man his age mows down scumbag punks in Death Wish III?

2. Dirty Harry - He is the work model for the loner hero. All others came from him. The cop that will do whatever it takes to kick the ass of the bad guy. He has the most bad ass lines, and is not above making a perp suffer (witness him stepping on sick-o villain, Scorpio in the classic original).

1. James Bond - He is pretty much the guy, every dude wants to be. I mean I have wanted to be Bond since I was a kid. He has a license to kill, is well dressed, beats the bad guys, gets all the girls, travels the world, saves the day, has the cool car, and the best gadgets. Do i really need to explain this one?

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