Marvel's The Avengers

Title: Avengers
Director & writer: Joss Whedon
Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Tom Hiddleston

The evil god of mischief, and brother to Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Loki (Tom Hiddleston) takes the tesseract cube (last seen in the awesome Captain America movie and also known as the Cosmic Cube by comic-book fans) and uses it to bring an alien army to enslave humanity. Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) and S.H.I.E.L.D soon gather Earth's mightiest heroes to form the Avenger's Innovative. And, while at first they clash, they come to terms and unite to save the NYC from sure destruction.

Let's not even mince words here, this IS THE ultimate superhero film. It tops the original Iron Man (which I always liked more than Dark Knight) and is perfection on celluloid. From the beginning to the very end, it is a rip-roaring, full throttle assault. This dear readers is fucking nirvana.

Whedon scores again, as he did with the amazing Cabin in the Woods, he proves he is a true fanboy and gives us the kind of movie you see only in your wettest comic-book dream (OK. not the one where the Black Widow fucks Spider-Woman with a strap-on but maybe the porn parody will have that). There is NEVER a boring second, as it moves at a breathtaking pace. The FX are jaw-dropping and the images of massive death and destruction are simply killer.

The acting is great! The amazing script allows all the characters to get the right amount of time and interaction is perfect between them. Downey Jr. is excellent as always as my fav Avenger Iron Man, he has some of the best lines in the movie. Hemsworth is great as Thor. Evans is just so fucking good as Captain America. Johansson, whom I haven't liked for years, was much, much better as Black Widow here, than she ever was in Iron Man 2. In fact, to me this is is her best acting in ages. And, the first time in centuries she inspired any sexual attraction in me. But, to me Cobie Smolders, as Agt. Hill, is hotter. Anyway, Ruffalo is excellent as Bruce Banner, and the Hulk RULES in this movie. They finally got him perfect!!! I really liked Renner as Hawkeye. He was a badass. But, it's Hiddleston's Loki that really shines, as an arrogant, evil asshole.

I LOVED the two scenes that happen in the middle and the end of the credits. FUCKING AWESOME!!!

This movie has made a KILLING at the box office and rightfully so. A fucking godsend this is a two hour and a half geekgasm!! It is THE movie of the year, and I doubt any movie will top it. See it again!! NOW!!!!

**** out of ****

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The 10 Best Movies of 2011

I realize that I am bit late with this list, but the truth is I have been extremely busy with my writing, so I wish to excuse myself to my fellow and loyal readers. Regardless, with the Oscars on tonight, I felt this was the moment for me to show my picks. As always, mine go against what a mainstream critic would ever pick, but that's cause I ain't one. I would like to think that is part of the reason you guys enjoy reading my words.

As a whole, I found that last year had some good stuff, but I avoided, or at least tried to avoid the truly horrid shit. Anway, enjoy my list and go see all of them. And, if you already have revisit them!

10. Dead Hooker in a Trunk- Fun, energetic, wild, over-the-top, insane, bloody, these are just some of the words I can use to describe the Soska twins' debut movie. The fact that the lovely sisters directed, wrote, produced, and acted in it makes that much more impressive. In all, this one of the best indie/ underground horror releases in a long time. And, I think they will only get better as American Mary is one of my most hotly anticipated movies of next year.



9. Bereavement- Stevan Mena's own superior prequel to Malevolence is a nasty, dark, brutal, and mean-spirited romp that pushes buttons that not many movies have the balls to do so. It also happens to feature some solid acting from a good cast. Easily ranks as one of the best, if not the best, prequel in the horror genre.




8. Scream 4- I seriously had my doubts about this one. It had a lot going against including cast changes, the fact that Craven's recent out-put had been shit, including the preceding installment of this franchise which was utter filth, that self-reflective slasher films had run their course ages ago, and this was many years to late. But, this movie rose above that becoming the best in said series since the original. It's well acted, smart, well written, violent, funny, fun, and has a delicious female cast. One of the most pleasant surprise of last year.


7. Captain America- I had my doubts about this one, despite being a fan of Captain America since childhood. I mean all other attempts were shit! But, long and behold, this was an exciting, fun movie. The acting and action scenes are solid and well done, and the character is done with respect, never coming off as corny, which it completely could have. Also, Hugo Weaving is an awesome Red Skull!




6. The Mechanic- This bloody good remake of the Bronson movie of the same name is a rocking good time. Statham is just badass in the lead role and the flick moves a quick and exciting pace. The ultra-violent set pieces give the movie that extra kick in the ass that just puts it over the top. Maybe the best remake in the action movie genre, ever.


5. Yakuza Weapon- This might be the wildest and bloodiest movie of the year! An incredibly fun movie that stands as the best of the over-the-top splatter-style films to from Japan since The Machine Girl. While, that remains my favorite of them, this one comes close to topping it. Our hero is a fucking badass all the way, and his love interest in the movie is a goddess. It hits DVD and blu-ray this year, so get out there and buy it. Yes, I said buy it. Don't just fucking rent it!!



4. Drive- Some movies get a lot of hype but don't deserve it. This one does. Stylish, ultra-violent, exciting, with excellent directing, acting, and editing, this one of those times me and the critics agree. It's destined to become a modern classic. A great indie action film that I simply adored practically every frame of. And, I have to admit, of all the heroes I seen in movies this year, this is the one I wanted to be the most like. Well other than the fact that I really wish I was the hero in Yakuza Weapon cause he had the hottest love interest of the year. But, yeah other than that, I want to be the Driver! And, I want his jacket, too!!!


3. The Woman- Holy shit is this movie amazing or what?! Brutal, shocking, nasty, and very powerful, this might be Lucky (May) McKee's best work yet. It's very unflinching, but it also stands as great feminist horror. Some of the year's best and most shocking moments from the genre are featured here. This movie seriously needs to be seen by each and everyone of you. Provided you can take it, you will see an excellent film.


2. Warrior- Hey, another one the critics and I agree on! Shocking! But, come on this is just a great film. The best of it's kind since The Wrestler. But, this is not just a great MMA movie (and I can say this because I am a HUGE MMA fan) but a great film period!!!





1. Hobo with a Shotgun- To me this is THE best film of the year. Ultra-gory, funny, unpc, wild, over-the-top, nasty, crazy, stylish, but yet with a lot of heart. This movie loves the films that inspired it, and it shows. The cast is just great. Haur is clearly the man. I loved everything about this movie. This is one of the only top 10 lists, that compensate all genres, that probably has this as it's #1 pick. But, who cares? This movie fucking rules and that's the bottom line casue the Master said so!!!

You have read this article 2011 / action films / Bereavement / Captain America / Dead Hooker in a Trunk / drama / Drive / Hobo with a Shotgun / horror films / Scream 4 / superheroes / the Mechanic / The Woman / Warrior / Yakuza Weapon with the title Captain America. You can bookmark this page URL http://thestoryoc.blogspot.com/2012/02/the-10-best-movies-of-2011.html. Thanks!

America, Fuck Yeah!!!

It's the 4th of July!! And, what better time than to celebrate with some real good old American made fun!

This month, on July 22, marks the opening date of the new Captain America movie, Captain America: The First Avenger. I think it looks real fucking good. The trailers have me excited for it. It should at least make us forget all those horrible Capt movies made over the course of time. Dunkin Donuts and Baskin Robbins both have promotions tied in with the release of the movie. I love the Captain America donuts! Real fuckin' good! Although, I don't get the chocolate Hydra sundaes. Shouldn't they be green? Just sayin... Captain America is one of the earliest comics I ever read, and he remains one of my fav comic book heroes. So, here is hoping for the best!

And, now for something that is awesome all year round, not just the 4th, PORN!!!! Here are three porn stars, I wish I could spend today with (and, I'm sure you do/ will want/ want to, as well). After all, they put the FUCK in fuck yeah!!!

Tori Black: Tori is the American girl that I wish lived next door to me! She is truly one of the most beautiful women I have ever laid my eyes on. Rumors are saying she is pregnant and done with porn. Other rumors state that she will only do girl/ girl. Whatever the truth maybe, I wish Ms. Black all the luck in the world.




Alana Evans- So last night I watched my copy of Rodney Moore's excellent comp of some of his best facials, Monster Facials.com the Movie Volume 3. In it, there is a clip taken from Different Strokes 5. In this scene, Alana plays a hooker that Rodney picks up, after being warned by the beautiful Phyllisha Anne (playing a cop), not to do that. He fucks her, then drops her off, with a big facial splattered on her. Officer Anne spots her. She notices the cum on her beautiful face, and to confirm that is indeed semen, she smells and licks it off of her!!! She arrests Evans, while Moore runaway. It's one of my fav facials in the history of porn, and it definitely makes me say FUCK YEAH!!!
Alana is an all American blonde haired, blue eyed beauty from Fort Campbell, Kentucky. Coincidentally her birthday is in two days, so happy birthday, Alana! She is a mom, in real life, making her an honest to God, MILF!

Asa Akira- Finally, if I was allowed to only pick one American babe to spend this 4th with, then I would go with the Asian American goddess known as Asa Akira, of course! No shocker, here, and a great excuse for me to post one more pic of her. Asa Akira? FUCK YEAH, baby!!!!

Remember that hot Asian chick (Kira Calvell) in the USA bathing suit in House of the Dead? I know I do! And, so do my pants!! Can, I get another FUCK YEAH?

And, now a song from America's, no fuck that the world's GREATEST punk band, The Misfits!!! It's American Psycho!!!


To all my dear readers and friends, I wish you and yours a very happy and safe 4of July! May you eat and drink and have a blast!! FUCK YEAH!!!

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How to Celebrate the 4th of July, Master Style

It's Independence Day and aside from the all BBQs, booze, and fireworks; I would like to recommend some other awesome things you could thrown in for the celebration!

Let's begin with cartoons. And, they don't get more appropriate then G.I. Joe. It was one of the most beloved toons of the 80s, and one of the best action figures of all time. Even better are the excellent comics or the the more mature toon G.I. Joe: Resolute, which actually had people getting killed! And, it let the Joes use guns instead of laser weapons. Avoid the terrible G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra, unless you are into seeing your childhood memories be raped.

Speaking of movies, I say go with the Rambo movies. I would go with the first, second, and/ or forth one. It's always fun to see Stallone kick the baddies asses! Horror fans, please avoid seeing Uncle Sam. It's a terrible movie, and you're way better off wallowing in the ultra-violence of Rambo. Hard to believe Uncle Sam was made by William Lusting, he of Maniac, Maniac Cop Trilogy, and Vigilante fame. Then again, he did make Maniac Cop 3... You can always watch American Psycho or An American Haunting, of course. Those are actually good movies.

Perhaps you are in the mood to see guys beat the shit out of each other. In which case I say go with pro-wrestling. I would say sticking with Hulk Hogan (only as a babyface [ good guy]) and/ or Kurt Angle (as a heel [bad guy] or babyface) matches. Or, better yet the awesome matches that they had in WWE. The Real American vs. the American Hero, what the fuck more could you ask for?

Now, of course, you might need some reading material. I would go with some Captain America comics. I been a fan of Capt. since I was a kid. He remains one of my favorite heroes in the Marvel Universe. You can always delight as he battles scumbags like the Red Skull or even terrorist pieces of shit, as he did, for a while, post 9-11. I am looking forward to seeing the Capt. movie. But, I hope they do it right. Avoid at all costs ANY of the old Captain America movies, including the 90s one with the Italian (?!) Red Skull! Seriosuly, what the fuck were they thinking with that one?!

What about some tunes, now? Well, you can go with such great feeling music like: The Misfits- American Psycho, Marilyn Manson- Portrait of an American Family, Rob Zombie- American Made Music to Strip by, or GWAR- America Must be Destroyed!

Now of course, there is nothing more American than porn! So, I would definitely recommend some smut, too. Then again, in my book, any time is always a great time to enjoy pornography! This Hustler cover proves my point, does it not? Maybe, I could also recommend you popping in American Daydreams, Vol. 4?

You should also have a party and tell all the hot girls coming that they must wear bikinis with Old Glory on them. T&A and the Red, White, and Blue. What's more American than that?

Anyways, I just want to wish you all a Happy 4th of July! Have lots of fun and stay safe!And, getting back to the whole porno thing, I would like to say that one of the hottest MILFs, in the history of the world, and one of this blog's most popular babes to talk about, Vicky Vette, wants, to wish you a Happy Independence Day, too! Definitely, makes you stand in attention, does it, not?

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Now playing: Possessed - Satan's Curse
via FoxyTunes

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