Xena XXX- Trailers!

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A Videodrome Remake?! Seriously?! WTF?!

Remakes are, sadly, nothing new these days. And, I always groan when I hear of a new one. But, this latest one is perhaps the worst I've ever heard. It certainly would rank as one of the worst movie news I've heard this year, if not in fact THE worst. The dumbasses at Universal are remaking David Cronenberg's horror/ sci-fi masterpiece Videodrome. Wait what?! 

Videodrome has long been considered one of Cronenberg's best films (some years ago I picked his best work, check out my list here: http://themastergio.blogspot.com/2008/08/top-5-david-cronenberg-films.html). While, he has gone decidedly mainstream, he was, at this point in time, one of horror's most exciting, intelligent, and original directors. Videodrome is certainly a prime example of this. It tells of the tale of Max Renn (James Woods) who discovers a channel where violence and S&M are aired. He is determined to fined the source. His investigation will lead to fetishistic sex, hallucinations, and, literally, mind-blowing violence.

Smart, violent, shocking, and sexy, the movie was a box office bomb, at the time. It was way to ahead of it's time. It's a deep movie with comments on sex and violence, the effect it may have on us, TV & media, the video age, and what is real and fantasy. The gruesome effects, coupled with the lovely Debbie Harry's naked body, help to further push the limits on it. Today the movie is considered a classic, and it's one that you cannot just see once. Each and every viewing is better than the last, hence it always remains a fascinating watch.

The remake, to be helmed by first time director Adam Berg, promises to be a large scale action sci-fi thriller. Huh?! Seriously?! Have these fuckers even seen Videodrome?! The net is filled with the rage of Cronenberg and horror fans who wanna beat Universal's asses for this terrible, terrible idea. At this rate, they are aiming for the level of shit of remakes like The Omen, The Fog, and Psycho. In short: FUCK YOU UNIVERSAL!

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Elegent Angel's Is Gonna Make September Fuckin Awesome!!

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Hairy Twatter Is Coming

 

All pics come courtesy of DreamZone Entertainment.

Ever since I first heard about this upcoming DreamZone Hairy Twatter, a parody of the popular fantasy series Harry Potter, I have been very excited for it. It sounds and looks both funny and sexy as hell. I'm going to say this is one of my most anticipated adult releases in quite some time. 

DreamZone plans to release the movie this month. Directed and written by Jordan Septo, in what is his first time collaborating with DreamZone, this flick tells the tale of Hairy Twatter, who uses his magical powers to make hair grow on the bald twats of the girls who attened Whore's Wart's School for Witches & Wizard.  

The flick has a great cast, and I love the fact that the title and many of the character names are funny, something that I wish more parodies would do these days. It goes as this: Seth Gamble in the title role, Jessie Andrews (pictured to the left) as Hormone Granger, Tyler Nixon as Ron, Michael Vegas as Draco, Katie St. Ives as Hella Trix, Tara Lynn Foxx as Luder, Sammy Grand as Winey, Logan Pierce as Neville, and Nora Skyy (pictured above, right) as Janine (this character was made specifically for the parody).  

I'm a fan of the female cast and the concept is hilarious, I think! And, I just love me some bush!! Here is the SFW trailer: 

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My (Almost) Life-Long Love for Jaws

This week has been AMAZING for fellow shark lovers, as it's Shark Week over on Discovery Channel, which I look forward to every freaking year(!), and, yesterday, we saw the release of the single greatest killer animal horror film, Steven Spielberg's Jaws, on blu-ray. This post is all about my love and adoration for that classic. 

I been a fan of Jaws since I was a kid. I remember watching it and loving it. Mind you, I was already was fascinated by both monsters and animals and this combined both. Here was a horror movie that featured a killer shark, and from then on I was enamored by sharks. I still am. It was also one of the first horror films I was ever obsessed with. 

The story is a simple one, as then you Steven Spielberg directed a movie based on Peter Benchley's best seller. In it a shark terrorizes a community and a police chief (Roy Schieder), a marine biologist (Richard Dreyfuss), and a salty shark hunter (Robert Shaw) team up to stop and kill it.

What sets Jaws apart form any other film like it is the quality of it. The acting is excellent, as is the character interaction. Also, there is the intensity and scariness of the movie. Spielberg directs it to nail-biting perfection. Add in John Williams score, one of the greatest and most recognizable in horror history, and you have a perfect movie.

The movie was a HUGE hit and became the first summer blockbuster. It inspired three sequels:
Jaws 2- which is a good, solid film and can be seen as a slasher film with a shark
Jaws 3D- which is the first horror film I saw in the movies. I did see it in 3D and loved it. But, revisting it, minus the 3D, it sucks. But, Leah Thompson looks yummy. I'm not a shark and I wanna eat her!!!
Jaws: The Revenge- a godawful film that ranks as one of the worst horror sequels, EVER made!!!



Like any great film, it's been ripped-off countless of times. It, in fact, ranks as one of the most ripped-off horror films of all time. While some like Piranha (both the original and the remake), Orca, and Alligator are great most are complete and utter shit. Just look at SyFy who rape this movie all the fuckin time. The movie to the right, Italy's Great White, was such a rip-off of it, Universal took to court! Doh!

Like I said, I've loved this film since I was a child. Because of it, and my aforementioned love of sharks, I had lots of shark toys. I also owned and played the NES game which was total shit, but hey it was Jaws...

I have owned Jaws on LD and DVD, but the blu-ray is the best it's ever looked and sounded!! It looks brand new!! Amazing!! Great extra features, too!!! Go get this fucker now, if you ain't done so yet! It's one of the year's true most buy discs!! That does lead me to one thing, though: I had read in Horrorhound mag that the sequels were coming to blu-ray, as well. In fact, it stated that 3 was gonna be in 3D. Now, I don't own, nor will I ever own, a 3D blu-ray player or TV, but this would have been cool. Cooler, still if they did it with glasses like Friday the 13th 3D and My Bloody Valentine were released. As bad as it is; if they had done that I would've bought it! Just for nostalgia and the importance it has to both my childhood and horror fandom.

 

Regardless, Jaws remains one of the greatest movies ever made. To me, it is Spielberg's very best, a film I hold near and dear to my heart. And, one I know almost, by heart. If you fear going into the water, it's cause you know that big, bad shark is waiting for you... And, true fans of fear and great cinema wouldn't have it other way!! 

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Adventure Time Is the Greatest Time of the Day!

I have something to admit... I absolutely love Adventure Time!! It's become my favorite non-Adult Swim cartoon and with good reason. I started watching the show last year, after hearing good things about it. I ain't looked back since.

Created by Pendelton Ward , this fantasy toon airing on Cartoon Network is about Finn the human and his loyal dog and best friend Jake the dog, and, well, their adventures in the post-apocalyptic Land of Ooo. Finn is a 14 year-old human boy, who is a brave hero. Jake has magical powers and can grow, shrink, or stretch his limbs. The world is filled with various creatures, monsters, weird denizens, princesses, vampires, demons, wizards, and other cool shit. It's a crazy and silly world where anything is possible.

There are lot of fun and recurring supporting characters like the evil Ice King, the pretty Princess Bubblegum, or goth/ vampire babe Marceline. They all add to the coolness of the show, and there is actually a continuity of sorts, storyline wise. Plus, I love the fact that there is enough humor, themes, and action to keep away from being strictly for the kids. I wouldn't like it anywhere near as much if it was.

The writing is phenomenal on the show. It's smart, funny, and highly original. And, it's clear the writers love things like: video games, horror, fantasy (duh!), metal, and geek culture, in general. In fact, one needs only to go to any comic or anime con, and you'll see a bunch of people cosplaying as characters from the show. Last year, the Ice King was one of the best at NYCC.

It's been a huge critical and commercial success for the channel. So, of course, there is some great merchandise. I got the little figurine of Finn given out last year at NYCC, and just this past Sunday, I picked up, at Hot Topic, a cool light, blue tee with Jake in a pocket. Plus, also at Hot Topic, I got to, finally (!), get small plush doll of Jake. It looks so cute and you can hang him. At 9 bucks it's not a bad price. And, once you own it, you'll be happy you did pick him up!!! Now, I want, no NEED more Adventure Time merchandise!!

Still need more convincing of how awesome this show is? Here are vids to do just that:

A couple of new episodes have been airing as of late and my love for this show grows exponentially. What time is it? It's Adventure Time!!!!! And, I wouldn't have it any other way!!

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Mommy Blows Best 10

Title: Mommy Blows Best 10
Cast: Mariah Milano, Melissa Rio, Nikki Hunter, Janet Mason, Amber Lynn, Syren De Mar
Studio: Overboard Video

This awesome oral MILF DVD opens up with the beautiful, ravishing, and sexy Nikki Hunter talking directly to the camera, as if it was her young lover who is cheating on his girlfriend and referring to herself as mommy. I love how she says that she'll please you better than your girlfriend! She is just so sexy and stunning!! She is also an amazing dirty talker, and her body is KILLER!!! I truly love her ass and boobs. I also love the way she sucks her finger like if it was a dick. This leads to even more dirty MILF talk, and then she plays with herself. She is truly an awesome cocksucker. We get lots of drool and even more dirty talk!!! There is some HOT titty fucking and a hot 69. This is all killer stuff!!! Then she rubs the dick between her butt cheeks, and back to more titty fucking!!! The dude blows a hot load on her face, which drips on to her tits. This awesome scene is the movie's very best! In fact, I could never make it more than 8 minutes of the scene without blowing a load of mine own!! In other words, here is a new utmost favorite scene of mine!!

Scene two has the beautiful Janet Mason. She plays your friend's wife who seduces you. She looks very pretty and provocative. She has great legs!! He (or "you", as it like the one before it is shot POV style) get to touch her boobs, thighs, nice ass, and pussy, at her behest. She plays with herself. Her fingers get clearly wet from her snatch. She even sucks on them. After the smoldering blow-job, he blows his load in her mouth, as she sucks it clean. She then plays with the cum in her mouth with her fingers. FUCKING HOT!!!

Scene three has the very sexy Amber Lynn. She still looks delicious and has great legs and a nice butt. She does a nice striptease. She goes down and sucks the guy's balls and rubs her tits on his cock. HOT!! But, the most hot thing has to be having those beautiful blue-eyes of hers looking straight at you- the camera. She also bites his balls, gently it seems, on his behest. After, she blows him some more and titty fucks him at the same time. He sprays his load on her tits and a little drips down her mouth. Another HOT scene!!!

Syren De Mar stars in the fourth scene. She is beautiful!! She has great, thick, legs and very nice thighs. Unfortunately, unlike the other scenes, before it, it ain't shot POV style. It's still sexy, though. That said, when it does go POV style, which is a few times, the scene is at it's very best. It's also at it's best when it focuses on her butt. It ends with a good facial that is fairly messy.

The pretty Melissa Ria is next. She has nice eyes and great legs. She gives us a good tease to start the scene. While, the BJ is POV, it's just OK, as it lacks the nastiness of the earlier scenes. In all this is a typical suck scene saved mostly by her beauty, gorgeous eyes, and perky tits. The money shot is in her mouth and on her boobs. She sucks her fingers, making this a good way to end the scene.

The final scene has cover-girl Mariah Milano. She looks beautiful as she makes-out with a young guy on the couch. He eats her pussy. This non-POV scene is OK. It does turn hot, though, when he titty fucks her. He blows a load on her wondrous knockers. She rubs the cum on her juggs, then licks her fingers! A very hot and great ending!!!

In all this is a very good porno for fans of beautiful MILFs and oral action. Though, it's the perfect first three scenes that really make this worth buying.

The picture is quite excellent, with some deep colors and good flesh tones. The sound is also quite good.

The one and only extra is a good photo gallery.

3 1/2 Woodies out of 4

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The Dark Knight Rises

Title: The Dark Knight Rises
Director: Christopher Nolan
Writers: Jonathon and Christopher Nolan
Cast: Christian Bale, Gary Oldman, Tom Hardy, Joesph Gordon-Levitt, Anne Hathaway, Marion Cotillard, Morgan Freeman

Eight years after the events in The Dark Knight, Gotham City is seemingly a better place. Batman, aka billionaire Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale), has taken all the blame for Harvey "Two-Face" Dent's crimes and has retired. In the meantime, to help Wayne Enterprises, he hands over power to the lovely Miranda Tate (Marion Cotillard). But, a terrorist known as Bane (Tom Hardy) begins to terrorize Gotham City. Soon, Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) and Officer Blake (Joesph Gordon-Levitt), who has deduced who Batman really is, implore Bats to comeback. He is joined, sort of, by pretty cat burglar Selina Kyle, IE Catwoman (Anne Hathaway). But, after a brutal battle with the vicious Bane, Bats is left decimated and Gotham soon falls to Bane's might. Can the Dark Knight save Gotham City from doom?

This film has become a huge hit and is to be the end of the Nolan Bats trilogy. It's gotten a ton of props. But is it worth it? Well yes... And no.

First off, let me start with what I liked. And, that would be Bane. And, only Bane. Between this and Warrior Hardy has become with my favorite actors. He OWNS every scene he is. But, there in lies a major problem, as he is the only truly interesting character in the movie. Yes, even Bats fails to be truly captivating.

I also enjoyed the action scenes. One thing Nolan does much better than Burton ever did is he is much better at doing action scenes. There is a wild and exciting climax, as well as the the first encouter between Bane and Batman that hold your interest. But, other than that...

First off, comes the film's biggest issue which  is the focus on Gordon-Levitt's character. Why the hell should I care about this damn cop from Gotham City?! I paid to see a fucking Batman movie, not some fuckin cop flick. Don't get me wrong, Levitt is a good actor. Shit, (500) Days of Summer is one of my favorite movies, but seriously this is The Dark Knight Rises NOT (500) Days of Some Cop in Gotham City! There's a twist/ revelation/ ending with him that shits on DC's a character(s). Fuck that.

While, Hathaway is pretty she is too vanilla and lacks any real sexuality and edge to be Catwoman. Sorry, guys, but I haven't cared for her since she showed her tits in Havoc, this didn't change that. Oh, and Bale is a great actor, but there wasn't enough of him as Batman. This in a movie that is already TOO fuckin long!! On top of that Batman's recovery is ridiculous, to say the very least.

That said, I did enjoy it, well the parts that didn't piss me off/ annoy me anyway. And, I understand Nolan's universe is NOT the real DC Universe. That's fine. I like the firs two, but both, especially The Dark Knight, are better movies than this one. In that film the Joker and Batman are equally interesting. The same cannot be said here. A good film for sure, but not great, not by any stretch of the words. And, certainly NOT on the level of Marvel's The Avengers.

*** out of ****

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Hot Asian Girl of the Month: Yuki Mori

Oh August, thou art the last full month of Summer. Many times this month calls for blistering heat, though to be fair we, here in the Eastcoast have been getting that for weeks now, and to comply with that blistering heat we need a babe that is just like that. So, I give to you the August 2012 Hot Asian Girl of the Month: the very sexy Yuki Mori!!

Yuki was born in Japan on 1986. I must admit that one of the things I really like about her is her cute Japanese accent.

Here is example of how hot she sounds, and I think it's even hotter when she actually speaks Japanese!!

She began her porn career in 2008, at 22 years of age. Her early work included work that many times fell under the Asian, squirting, and lesbian fetishes.

One of things she really likes to do a lot is S&M stuff. She seems to always play the sub. She certainly has a nice enough ass that one wants to spank it... among doing other things to it!! 

Yuki has an amazing body to be sure. With all natural 34B-22-34 body she is a sight that will captivate you from the second you lay your eyes on her.  

Of course it helps that she smolders whenever she's onscreen. For excellent proof make sure you see her awesome threesome blow-job with London Keyes in the excellent Load Sharing 2! 

If you want to see more of this Japanese goddess (and, I know you do!!), be sure to visit her at her official site: http://yukimorixxx.com/

Yuki has a cute face, beautiful almond-shaped eyes, a sexy accent, a great body with nice boobs and a killer ass. She's definitely a doll!! 

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Asa Akira Annouced as one the Co-Hosts at AVN Awards!!

 

Last night, I found out that AVN has picked the two co-hosts for next year's AVN Awards. That gorgeous pair was revealed to be: Jesse Jane and Asa Akira!!! Jesse has hosted it before, and she's always great at doing that. She has a wonderfully bubbly personality and is truly one of the biggest names in the entire industry.

Asa has long been one of my personal favorites, and, so to me, it came with great joy when I read the news. I met first met Asa a few years ago at the very first Exxxotica. I was floored by her beauty, but I really knew nothing about her back then. I quickly though became a fan, though. This fellow NYer did end up rising to the top of the industry. She's received multiple awards, all of which she deserves. Because, not only is she a vision of perfection, but my pick for Hot Asian Girl of the Month for October 2009 and last year's hottest babe of the year is also unquestionably a great performer. Her sex scenes in movies like Asa Akira Is Insatiable 1 & 2 are some of the finest you will EVER see!

But, what is perhaps the greatest thing about her, is how down-to-earth she remains. I've met her a couple of times and interviewed her twice, and she's always been someone who is fun, sexy, and sweet to talk. It's because of all these factors that I'm happy for her, and I hope that success continues for her. I'll be seeing her at the next Exxxotica show and hopefully at next year's AEEs. And, I cannot wait to see her host the AVN Award shows!!

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